“The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
― Mark Twain
I often wonder if God watches me and shakes his head at my many moments. Hopefully he's laughing. I know my mom and dad laugh. I know my brother and sister laugh. And I know everyone else stares.
Being a clumsy girl who quite often says what's she's thinking (I lack a filter) can be off-putting I suppose. Then again, my philosophy is to throw caution to the wind and toss political correctness out the door.
My awkwardness and big mouth often make people laugh, sure. However, they might also offend others. Not that I mean to, it's just hard to keep quiet sometimes--to hold my tongue on a matter that deals with bad-mouthing our county and her history, the Declaration and Constitution, Bill of Rights, etc.
Maybe that's how God made me. He made me to be outspoken, overly dramatic, and a natural born lawyer. Even with that being said--even though it sounds like I have myself all figured out--finding out where I fit in in the scheme of life and the church sometimes makes me question my identity, and makes me wonder if I am not "broken" or, perhaps, too obnoxious for some to handle.
This past Sunday, my Pastor spoke on finding God's plan for your life. I'll be honest, finding God's plan is scary. You have to give everything up to get every blessing and more. You know what I mean? While that sounds amazing in theory, I'm reluctant to give it all up. What if it doesn't work out?
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
―Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)
God has a plan. A plan with many layers. God has a provincial will. God has a practical will. God has a personal will. These three fit together seamlessly to show us God's ultimate plan for our lives. If--if we are willing to understand his investment in our lives.
His Provincial Will
God's provincial will is important. In fact, it's essential. The foundation for the other two to build on, yet retain their separate identities--I see it almost as if each will corresponds with each of the Trinity.(Don't hold me to that theology, though. It just a guideline that helps me to visualize each as separate components in a singular body). Provincial will resonates with me as His sovereign will. It is unchanging and powerful enough to override all my bad decisions. Take a look at Acts 2:22-23 for instance. Paul writes that God had a "deliberate plan" and foreknowledge about the death of His son. That plan never changed--proof of an unwavering, never changing God! And it is in Him I find stability.
His Practical Will
Without understanding and following God's practical will, we will never know his personal will. Think of practical will as rules to live by, so to speak. 1Thess 4:3 talks about being in the world, not of the world. That truly does resonate with God's practical will because if we are busy breaking the rules and living a worldly life, we are blind to God's practical will. I see it this way: we're to be set apart, right? Rules won't get us into heaven, but these rules...morals...separate us from the rest. You cannot know God's will or influence a non-Christian if you're acting like a jerk on Sunday afternoon. The question is: how can God reveal his personal will to someone who does not acknowledge or follow His practical will?
His Personal Will
I love Proverbs 16:9 because it shows the difference between how God plans v. how we as humans plan. Humans chart out their path, while God already knows where your footsteps will fall and how many it will take to reach the intended destination. Even Jeremiah 10:23 mentions that our lives are not our own; thus, it is not for us to make decisions about where we will go and what we will do. In order to discover God's personal will, we must submit to Him. When we submit, we're acknowledging his sovereignty, and with that we are then able to focus and follow God's will.
For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
Being mindful of these three specific wills of God have encouraged me to dig deeper into the word. There I am certain I will learn more about my God, but also find his will for my life. Sometimes, when you don't know, it's smart to turn to the one who does. So--maybe being an awkward, out spoken, Lawyer-like girl isn't necessarily a bad thing. I think what's missing is not knowing who I am, but understanding why I am this way. Who knows...I may be destined to be a stand up comedian, a Historian, or even a Lawyer! The hard part will be letting go, surely good will come out of the fear. Everything can be used to glorify God. I am so grateful my life counts.