To the guys who tease:

December 8, 2015


This morning I saw you teasing a well-endowed young woman who chose to wear a skirt. Her wearing a skirt is the least of your worries, guys. You're insensitivity to her body and her choice in style is cruel, and repulsive! So what if she wears a skirt and doesn't shave her legs?! Society makes it a girl's obligation to shave because it's the "proper" thing to do. Ha-ha! But, when did it become okay for you to dictate how a woman should present herself? She's probably already her own worst critic. She doesn't need you're help. Don't add to the fire!

Apparently you must feel small and insecure about yourself to stoop to such stupidity....Being mean doesn't make you any "bigger" or "more" of a man. It makes you less of one in my book! Chopping women down at the knees is cruel! 

If you ask me (which you're not...but I'll tell you anyway), she's being way more authentic than most girls would have the courage to attempt. She obviously has WAY more confidence than you, to say the least. And I bet she's smart and very likable, too. But, you'll never have the pleasure of knowing her beautiful soul. You might have had a chance if you'd kept your mouth shut and acted like a gentleman. But - now there is NO chance for you. She's out of your league, and certainly smart enough to know that she deserves more than the garbage you have to offer.

So - next time you insult a girl, taking jabs at her appearance, remember that you're not doing anything to physically injure her...you're injuring her heart. And remember this: insulting a woman makes you less of a man (if you ever were one to begin with), and makes you qualified for a random mobbing of angry women with fingernails, sharp teeth, high heels, and purses stuffed with bricks.

Oh, and as you leave, please put your ball cap on the correct way and pull your pants up above your knees. And also, walk like a confident man, and not like a pig in a blanket or a waddling penguin. And, to the guy who winked at me: move on buddy, I am so out of your league you'd have to freeze time to catch up with me. I'm not into losers to degrade women for their own amusement. Walk along now...I don't know if I can keep myself from slapping you if you were to stay a second longer.

the WKU theme song list

October 5, 2015

I am amazed at the fact that one can become increasingly bored during the semesters at a college campus. And while I do not live on campus (thank goodness!), I still feel the side-effects of continual boredom, studying or not.

Boredom is not necessarily a displeasure. Granted, it can be a great reprieve from the insanity of studying. But - sometimes the boredom becomes too much and I get consumed by the musicals in my head and become a hopeless sap for humming (and sometimes singing) random tunes that have come to be known as my college "theme" songs.

Ah, yes, I have one for every occasion. This is what college kids do, to be honest. If you're not in class, you're thinking of ways to not have to study the homework you must get done before the next class period. And then, of course, we know what procrastination gets us: ANXIETY!

CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN

I go to Western Kentucky University and it is a very rough place to travel by foot with a 50 lb backpack on your back! There as so many hills (I swear they're never-ending!) that I almost dread every morning I have to walk to the classes I have at the very top. So - in order to get through the murderous struggle of walking UP the hill at turtle speed, I sing my "going up hill song".


ISLAND OF MISFIT TOYS

I also dread walking onto campus. Everyone on this campus is so awkward. Everyone is dressed weird. Everyone smells funny. Everyone looks at you funny. And some just ignore your presence altogether. It's funny and sad all rolled into hundreds of college students who have no clue what they're doing. 


I'M ALL ALONE

I have one friend at WKU. So - I'm not totally alone. But lets face it...I'm alone. I rarely ever see my friend. I rarely get a chance to talk to anyone. Everyone is either on their phones or have their earphones stuck so far down their ear canal that I am even surprised they have any form of "hearing" left. Yup, alone. Forever. haha


REMEMBER ME

When it comes to exam day, I walk out the door singing. Not a happy song, make no mistake. It's, rather, a more melancholy cry for kind thoughts, lots of prayer, and remembrance for me as I enter into the unknown territories of each and every exam period. Not one test is ever the same! Thus, I am always on edge and slightly nauseous heading into an exam.


HALLELUJAH

I always sing this song after learning that I passed that said exam! Oh, sweet Jesus!


FINAL COUNTDOWN

Oh, glorious days! When the end of the semester rolls around and that day comes where all I have to do is take the last exam, leave, and then hibernate until next semester, I am singing "I am Free"! But I am also counting down those minutes on the clock until I am able to say "astalavista baby" to my professor, classmates, and all the information I learned over the 14 week period. 


ALL STAR

That moment, after all that hard work and those sleepless nights, when you pass your class! A, B, or a C...it's a passing grade and you don't have to do a retake! Note: A's and B's are preferred. Those high grades are good for your GPA. 


I have many, many more theme songs. But some of them are just "normal life" type theme songs. And they usually fluctuate with the changes in my mood. The end of this fall semester cannot come fast enough. I need my sanity back! And my brain. If you find it, please keep it safe for me. 

i am so very confused, a prose by me

August 31, 2015

Why do I get up so early?
Why do I subject myself to late nights?
Why does my head hurt?
Why do my eyes feel like they're bulging out of my eye sockets? 

This all feels too much.
Things are happening too soon.
Holy cow! Wait! You're speaking too fast.
What did I just say?
That made no sense. 
Lawd! I can't keep up...
And if I do--keep up-- I end up getting too comfortable
And falling behind!
Again!
Oy vey.

Why did I study so hard?
I barely remember a thing!
What?! We're already on chapter three?
How?
We were on chapter one just four days ago!
I'm confused.
I am so very confused.

I better ace this test.
Oops. So much for being positive.
Failure is only an option?
Well, what about the teacher...
He seems to have no appreciation for my diversified thinking and originality.
Failure is only an option...
Tell that to the teacher who lowered my final grade one letter because I missed a class!

Please, tell me when college is over.
Hopefully I will be wiser when I'm older.
But if not, I'll be okay.
My plans are to be a stay-at-home mom, anyway. 

first week // day 4 // remember me as I was

August 27, 2015

Please. Remember me as I was: a happy, energetic, and enthusiastic dreamer with goals and aspirations far exceeding the wants of ascertaining a passing grade. Right now - that's all that seems to matter. A passing grade. Granted, it's only Week One. It's only the 4th day. But getting a good, firm foundational start to the college semester is crucial to learning and developing as a student. And...to getting those stellar grades!

...considering this as a new study technique. 
Needless to say, I have been studying non-stop - save for sleeping - in order to get ahead of schedule. I have, in all honesty, never read so many different books on a variety of subjects in my entire existence. At least, not all at the same time! Nor have I ever been able to say that I "have walked to school up hill both ways". Although - I can now. 

And with all of this major studying (which is likely to continue without pause), I feel as though my head should explode at any point during the semester. If not by the end of today! I read the textbooks half confused, half prepared. Some words I know. Some words I have to use a dictionary and thesaurus to discern it's actual meaning within the context of the passage. 


Part of me feels so under-prepared intellectually. Inferior to these broad-minded individuals who seems to have a vast knowledge of the subjects at hand. More so than I could ever hope to attain. Maybe it is just that I didn't create within my own little universe a liberal identity, point of view, and anti-religious slant. Apparently those liberal views seem to be the correct way of thinking in terms of classes such as Geography and Psychology. If that's the case...I am doomed! I am sure my education class has a liberal slant to it, as well. I understand that the majority of college students feel that they must express their individuality through liberalism. But at least make the lessons and class work applicable to those who have more conservative views on society, education, and the such. While I hate catering to the liberal slant, I will do it to ensure my grade and ability to graduate. Although I will not condone certain topics, concerns, and political correctness


Alright then, I guess I should finish reading Act I of Brother to Dragons. Not sure yet of what I think of this novel-like prose, but it may yet grow on me. Only time will tell. Right now, though, it has much to be desired. The use of vocabulary, though, is quite intriguing and refreshing. 

HAVE A GOOD SEMESTER Y'ALL!
MAY THE ODDS BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR. :)

College 101: Helpful Apps

August 23, 2015

It was my first year of college. And believe it or not, I was one of the few and the proud who still had a flip phone. In the age of iPones and Androids, I had a flip phone. I bright blue flip phone, complete with a selection of six ringtones, and an impossible navigation system. I didn't even have texting capabilities on the darn thing!

Aside from not having a phone until age 18, and then not even having a "cool" phone until age 21, I didn't miss much in terms of technology--except for those cute little icons they call apps. When I finally got my smart phone, I had no clue I was missing until I found the usefulness of certain apps. Mostly college related apps. Seldom do I download games. Distracting!

Scheduling has always been my number one priority and greatest struggle: keeping track of classes, dates and times of tests/due dates/exams. Having the ability to find apps to help with me college life, as well as help with my anxiety, was perfect for this Type-A personality. I went through a slew of apps trying to find the ones that worked best for what I had in mind.

Most of the apps--after digging for the diamonds in the rough--I use are FREE. Of course, everyone has his/her own preference. These just happen to work the best. 
  • EasyBib--If you're new to the college arena, you're going to need to consult this app/website more often that you think. So keep it handy! Easybib is an app (and a website) where you can put in the information of the book, magazine, etc., you're citing and have it put into MLA, APA, or Chicago Style format. 
  • Dictionary.com--This one is pretty self explanatory. I use this one all the time. Especially if I am unsure of how to differentiate between dessert & desert. 
  • Google Docs--I keep this one handy if I need to edit a paper on the go. I just upload my paper to my google docs account on my computer after it's been saved, and check it on my phone without ever having to pull out my laptop. 
  • My Study Life--A most recent discovery. With this app, I am able to input all the information I need about my class (location, time, etc.), and my professor. The app also allows you to color-code your classes so there is less confusion. Plus, you are able to add tasks according to each class; they'll appear on your calendar and remind before it's due.
I, personally, don't like to overload my phone with a slew of apps. I mean, I have enough, that's for sure! But I prefer to have all my apps located on one screen, even if in groups. If you're not sure that some of these will work, do some more searching. These apps are only the tip of the ice burg. However, don't spend too much time searching...remember to study!
PC: @megankmadison

i tried to be normal

August 17, 2015

I was home schooled all the way up to the day I graduated. Ever since the beginning, my family and myself have lived differently. We chose to go against the grain and throw out this idea that in order to be socialized individuals, we have to do things a certain way. That in order to become civilized citizens, we had to follow a set of man-made rules, laws, and ideas that were sure to produce the perfect socialized genius. 

My mom and dad wanted a different life for my brother, sister, and myself. They wanted to cultivate dreamers, thinkers, doers, independent individuals; and ultimately...God followers. Even if they were to fail at everything else, their main goal was to lead us towards the one true God. And, well, I think they did a pretty good job at instilling in us all of the above. 

So, yeah, my siblings and I are labeled unconventional and anti-social based on the mere fact that we were home schooled since age 4. But, the people that have placed us inside the confounds of these four walls--based on the way we were raised and educated--fail to realize that because of our chosen lifestyle--and our mom and dad's sacrifice--we have the drive, motivation, courage, and perseverance to go the distance.

Yeah, we usually have to study harder than most. We pay for our own phone, gas, and insurance...plus, car repairs. But we know the value of hard work, as well as how easy the money you make can leave your hands. We may not be the coolest people to hang out with because we tend to think before we act. And, yeah, we tend to take our work and personal lives very seriously. So what?

There's more to life than living by the playbook. Life is not a game of Football! Life doesn't have a manual that gives you different plays that'll allow you to skim by life without having to do hard things...or suffer consequences. Playing it safe and waiting for things to happen rarely ever gets you where you want to go in life. For me, personally, I see life as being more like a game of Risk. While you don't take your safety for granted, you allow yourself to take risks (a new job, renting your first apartment, etc.)--knowing that you might fail--so that you allow yourself to grow.   

Life is harder being a home-schooler who doesn't go by the rules or play the game of life as though I have forever to live. Thanks to the prayers and guidance of my parents, I am a born-again believer in the Lord, Jesus Christ! And being a girl born and raised to think beyond the confines of how the world tells me I should be, act, and think, I do worry (at times) about stepping out on my own--taking that risk--and entering into a world of concrete walls. To a University...a place that feels like it's main goal it to put a round pegs into a square hole. Where they say they encourage individualism, but try to mold or remold your way of thinking (i.e. your beliefs, morals, ethics, etc.) to fit this mold of being a politically-correct pawn of societal upbringing. 

I have been in college for 6+ years. I have heard it all before. If you don't "think" a certain way, or believe certain things, or act a certain way...you're unconventional. You don't fit into this idealistic expectation that you feel society expects of you. 

So, during my first couple years of college, I tried to be normal. I tried to cater to the professors beliefs and convictions. Granted, it worked. I got good grades, that's for sure. But, I felt like I was writing about things I didn't identify with or believe. 

After trying to be someone I wasn't I decided that I would try being myself for a change. No, I didn't write papers bashing homosexuality, or abortion, or why I am a Republican vs. Democrat. But when I was myself, I found that I wrote essays with more conviction. Looked forward to going to college more than I ever had before. Left behind this need to fit in; to be accepted; to be normal. And I had fun!

 
I am scared to death of going to a University. Not because I am afraid I will loose myself. But, because I am outside my comfort zone. On a liberal campus. And will--probably for the first time--have to defend my beliefs. But hat is life without risk and individuality, right? In order to see where life will take you, you kind of have to step out in faith. I just thank God I don't have to put my faith in society during the course of this new and strange adventure; instead, I will cast my cares on the Lord. 

And when He leads, I will follow. Because, to me, that's the most sincerest form of individualism and self-expression--to walk the path that the Lord has put before me. To place all that I am at the feet of Jesus and wholly trust that His plans are to "prosper [me] and not to harm [me]", and that He has "plans to give [me] hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). 

Note: My beliefs reflect solely on my own convictions and experienced. I am entitled to my opinion.

College 101: Be Happy, Be Healthy


Balancing your education and your health is easier said than done. Trust me, I know this all-too-well! I had an eating disorder during my' first" year of college (outside of duel enrollment). So, yeah, I know how hard it is to maintain good grades and try and maintain a healthy life. Unfortunately, I did a terrible job. At first, it didn't effect my grades, just my weight. But, then, the dominoes started to fall and everything got out of hand, and eventually my grades slipped, and I ended up having to take a full year off just to tackle the problem causing my problems!

Long story short, I have learned a thing or two since my first official year in college (thank God I was home during that time...still am, though. It's cheaper). Along the way--on into recovery, even--there were several tips I learned to keep focused, fueled, healthy, energetic, and happy. 

Tip #1: Eat

Okay, so--first thing I learned was that food is an essential part of your brain's ability to function. Who knew, right?! (That was a joke). In order to maintain a healthy, balanced brain & body function throughout your college career, you'll need to eat. Eating isn't the enemy here! In fact, your lack of attention to what you eat, and even the meals you're skipping have more of an effect on your weight and metabolism than you realize. 

The advice here is that you don't skip a meal. By all means, eat the foods you like, but make sure they're nutrient dense and have plenty of fiber. For breakfast (always eat breakfast...the best way to start your day!), I tend to eat plain cheerios with milk and a banana. Sometimes, I even do peanut butter on toast or oatmeal if I am not crunched for time. 

Tip #2: Drink Plenty of Water

Ditch the coffee. Sure, it'll keep you awake. But after a while it'll leave you feeling drained. Another thing I learned that I was doing wrong was that I wasn't drinking enough water. TOO MUCH COFFEE. Therefore, my energy was zapped, my focus was hazy, and my motivation practically zilch. 

My rule of thumb (at least for what my body seems to want and be able to handle) is about a gallon of water per day. Seems like a LOT! It was for the first week. But after my system was flushed, that amount of water was something my body actually craved. Thus, as soon as I get up in the morning I fill my 32 oz. water bottle up with ice water (I do ice water because I prefer cold over lukewarm) and sip on it while getting myself ready and my things together for school. And then, after round one is done, I fill it up 2 more times during the day. And then some! You can get a 32 oz. water bottle at Walmart and Target

Sometimes I get tired of just plain water. However, I refuse to use flavorings for my water that are not natural because of the chemicals and coloring. Doesn't scream healthy to me. To get around those flavorings, I have been trying different ways to naturally flavor my water. Something that will do dual purpose as a pick-me-up, help to detox, and refresh. My family and I have tried several recipes: Strawberry & Basil, Lemon & Mint, Orange & Clove, and Lemon & Lime. Now, of course, not all of these are going to be something you'll readily have on hand. That's why I always revert to my favorite: Lemon & Lime. The lemon and lime squeeze bottles in the produce section of the grocery store always have the juices in stock. Plus, they're small enough to be able to store them in your backpack or purse. I never leave home without them!

Tip #3: Move More

Until college, I was always on the move. I had Karate classes 5 times a week...and that was usually at night, after teaching 2-3 classes before hand. So, once I got into college, being constantly on the move was almost impossible because I felt that I had to always be studying. Not the case! If you're not moving, you're not learning! This is why I like taking a 30 minute study break--almost every day--to workout. I choose to do a mixture of low-impact cardio (because of ankle injuries) and lots of weights. 

If you have access to a gym at school, take advantage of it! It's usually a small fee for the whole semester. My fee is $15 if I would choose to use the school gym. However, it you're like me--living at home--and prefer to workout alone where you can look horrifically sweaty, make loud grunting noises, and move in unnatural ways without people staring at you, go to the garage or your room. Hop on to YouTube and search for workout videos that are at least 30 minutes long. I like the low-impact HIIT workouts. As well as combining several of Denise Austen's 10-15 minute videos for a full-body boot camp. Some videos have weights as an option. You can always find routines that use body weight instead. 

Don't forget to have at least a 1-day rest period. Sometimes I take a 2-to-3-day rest. But, it just depends on how stressful my week has been, what I have eaten, and how much I have to study before the following week begins. 

Tip #4: Get Sleep

Don't put off getting sleep. You're textbooks and notes will be there tomorrow. But, just like eating, drinking water, and exercising, your body and brain will thank you for the beauty rest. Not only does it help your body to get the sleep it needs, your brain needs the sleep in order to repair itself. And if you're not sleeping because you need to study, how much are you actually learning if your brain is not being given the chance to repair and recharge?!

Tip #5: Revamp Your Snacking

I am one that has to always have a snack. And I am guilty, like most, of choosing the wrong thing to snack on. Sometimes it's because I am hungry, and sometimes it's because of my low blood-sugar. Because of this, I try to have a snack on hand at ALL times. However, I have had to revamp the way I snack. That's why I try and keep a zip lock sandwich baggie of healthy snack options in my backpack/purse. Usually simple ones, though; I like carrots, nuts, blueberries, grapes (any fruit, really), cheese sticks, and pretzels. 

College 101: Save on Textbooks

August 14, 2015


Two out of the of thirteen textbooks (six of them being novels) ordered for classes this semester have arrived. Basically, that means I will have little to no life once the 24th of August rolls around. I am going to save myself the disappointment now and just go ahead and plan on not having a life. At all. Period.

I think I am going to be sick. What makes me sick more than anything else is the astronomical cost accumulated by the thirteen textbooks. Why do textbooks have to cost so much if we're only going to use them for 3 1/2 months? And what's worse is having to purchase a $100-$200 textbook that you'll only use once during the whole semester! (Trust me, this totally happens!). In other words, don't ever trust the word required or optional. If in doubt, contact your Professor directly. They'll be your best source of information on what textbooks are essential and which ones you can do without. 

Getting all of my textbooks would have cost me somewhere close to $600 if I were to purchase them straight from the campus bookstore. Thankfully, I don't like to settle for full price on my books, so I am always looking to either rent or buy them as cheaply as possible. (If you have a scholarship(s) or a student loan(s), be sure to check on the stipulations first. Sometimes there's no way around buying straight from the campus bookstore). 

While I did have to purchase my Geography textbooks from the campus bookstore, I looked elsewhere for everything else. By doing so I saved a pretty penny. (Eh, I saved my mom a pretty penny!).  So what are some places I have ventured to in order to save a buck? Quite a few, actually!

There are so many great websites to rent and buy new/used textbooks for your classes.

// Buying //

Buying means that these books are yours to keep, highlight, underline...all the things most college students tend to do when studying. However, if you're wanting to try to sell the textbook(s) back, try to keep it to a minimum. 

Amazon

Believe it or not, I actually bought all--but one--of my books from Amazon for this semester. The end total was around $200, give or take. Not only did it save me money on my books, but I saved my gas and time searching for my books online!

eBay

Sometimes you can get lucky on eBay. I have purchased books from this site on several occasions at 50% off the retail cost.

// Renting// 

These are not yours to keep or abuse with highlighting and underlining. Renting sites will charge you for "damages" if they see there are excessive notes, torn pages, etc., to the textbook. 

Textbook Rentals

I have used it on a few occasions. It's legit and the books are reasonable.

Book Renter

This one I have used consistently. With this site, renting textbooks (if they carry them) are extremely cheap!

Amazon 

I have heard good things about them; although I have never tried them myself.

You don't have to pay full price for textbooks. There are ways to go about purchasing your books without breaking the bank. So, before you head to that campus bookstore, check out other sources. You might be surprised at how much you can save by going off campus and spending some time comparing prices.

Note: It is important that you know all the details about the books you're looking to purchase (e.g. edition, ISBN number, author, title, etc.). Missing a crucial detail could spell disaster and possibly cost you more money in the long run. Always read twice, buy once. 

College 101: Backpack Essentials

August 8, 2015


Nervous about your first day of college? So was I! Even though it's been six years since I began my college journey, I still get nervous at the beginning of each semester. I guess it's the fear of the unknown. Not knowing what to expect, who you'll meet, and whether or not your professors are going to have the soul of natural teacher.

If you're wanting to stay away from the bad professors, my suggestion is head to ratemyprofessor. This is a nifty website I have been using since Freshman year. I have gotten great teachers by using this site! However, there are always a few that get good ratings, but cannot teach to save their life. So, use it objectively. And consult those who have gone before you. 

Now is not the time to panic, though. Especially over the little things. Undue stress rarely makes for an enjoyable semester, especially on the first day. Without the things you need, you'll be "up a creek without a paddle", as my mom likes to say. And that's putting it lightly. 

Being a 6th year college student majoring in History, there are certain things I have found that are essential in helping to get a good grade. Having the essentials for success in college is essential. No. Really. It is! It's imperative that you have a goal, a plan, stay focused & organized, and have fun. Most most of all, have fun!

Be Prepared--There's nothing worse than going into a class unprepared. It's better to be overly prepared than under prepared. You NEVER know what the day will hold and you want to do everything you can to ensure success! The good thing is this: it's really not that hard. (I'll go into detail in another post). But first, we need to talk about the essentials that need to have a permanent home in your backpack

Writing Utensils-- This part is a no brainer. Pens, pencils, and highlighters are good to have on hand throughout the semester and during study sessions (you'll be reading a LOT). I usually keep mechanical pencils, retractable pens, and an assortment of highlighters in my pencil bag. After all, you'll be taking notes, needing to highlight things in your textbooks....and syllabus. 


Notebooks--This is pretty obvious, but another must have on your checklist. I find it best to have at least one notebook per class. I have also found that having a folder for each class is helpful in staying organized, and for keeping assignments stored neatly. As the semester progresses, you'll get a better understanding of what materials you will need for each class. Although, it doesn't hurt to have extra! In addition to notebooks, I often keep a pack of loose leaf paper in case the professor gives an impromptu assignment (e.g. essay, quiz, etc) in class. 

Student ID Card--Always have this little baby on hand. Put it in your backpack or your wallet. Just always have it! Sometimes professors will require your student ID for tests and papers and you might need your student ID (if you have one). I will advise that when you get your student ID number that you memorize it, like, now! You'll also need it if you're going to advising, signing up for classes, switching majors, as well as getting in and out of your dorm (and if you have a key...remember that, too!).

Laptop--Even though I have used it for every class thus far, some of you may not need to use it as much as others. Plus, it's a pain to have to carry around and remember to keep charged. But, if you're like me, I usually have a couple hours between my classes, which is a great time to finish an assignment or do some research for a class (or two); sometimes I take a mental break and watch cat videos before my next lecture. Most college libraries have computer labs that students can access for free, but there's no guarantee they'll have enough. 

Chargers-- If you're going to bring your laptop and/or phone with you to class, don't forget to bring the chargers to the devices! Keep them in your backpack at all times. There's nothing worse than being in class or studying during a break and having one or both die on you. 

Headphones--Always have a pair in your backpack. Music has been a life saver for me! Especially when studying. When I am stressed out. Or when I need a moment to just "zone out" before a test. 

Snacks--If you're like me and have to have snacks on hand because of low blood sugar, or because you like to eat, pack healthy snacks. I usually pack my snacks. I like to use a plastic sandwich bag to put my snacks in because it's easy to store in my purse or backpack. The snacks I normally take if I am wanting to be cheap usually end up being: tortilla chips, carrots, pretzels, sliced fruit, or cheese & crackers. However, if wanting something less ordinary, grab snack bar. I usually go for KIND Dark Chocolate Nuts and Sea Salt,most CLIF bars, and if I want to splurge I'll treat myself to a Larabar Uber Dark Chocolate Turtle. If you choose to take a snack into class, make sure the snack you bring doesn't make a mess and isn't distracting. Be mindful of others, especially your professor, as he may not allow food or drinks in class (especially in Lab). 


Makeup & Hair--It could be that I don't have the time or because my skin only allows me to do it ever-so-often (which is almost never). And I almost always wad my hair up into a bun. But for those of you that find this a MUST in order to make a public appearance, don't go overboard. Pack a few beauty essentials and a compact mirror. Also, you might want to pack facial cleansing wipes for a mid-day pick-me-up or if you're heading to the gym after class. 

Clothing--If you have room. I usually leave my extra set of clothes in the trunk of my car. However, if your packing an extra set of clothes, pack according to schedule, freak accidents and/or weather. And make sure to have a retractable umbrella on hand! You never want to get caught in bad weather unprepared. 

This seems like a lot hitting all at once. It's not as bad as it seems, thought. I have carried more than that in my backpack before; so trust me, you can handle this. Just make sure your backpack is sturdy enough to handle the bulk of a minimum of 2 books, 2-3 notebooks, a laptop, water bottle, snack bars, and whatever else you might need! Oh...and if you can fit it in there, bring with you a pinch of perseverance, a dash of patience, and a heaping spoonful of focus

and I wait | dream | envision | hope

February 22, 2015

Sometimes-while sitting down at the local bookstore-I like to imagine I am watching my future husband (you know, the single guy opposite of you with no ring on his finger, or girl by his side) as he orders his cup of coffee and large cookie, picks up a few magazines about manly things, and then picks a table super close to you (close enough to where you can actually smell is cologne). I guess I find myself doing that partially because I am bored, because I am lonely, and because I kind of like the idea of meeting my "manly" future husband at a book store. 

The guy I procure as my visual impersonation of my dashing future husband is usually, well, handsome. Which, sadly, makes me cringe with delight. I eyeball him several times (hoping he doesn't notice I am making eyes at him) and then begin the process of daydreaming. It's probably a lustful dream. But I like to imagine my future husband doing something similar. I like to look at guys faces and try to envision what my future husband might resemble. I make mental notes of the manly things they're doing, because I want to be up-to-date on these things, knowing that one day I will have to pretend to enjoy them, too! 

Yeah, on one part, it's a lustful experience. Especially when the guy is dagum cute! However, on the flip side, it does cure the aching of a lonely heart to imagine what one's future husband might be up do that very moment. Could he be entertaining himself with hunting magazines? Or reading a syfy novel about Startroopers or evil Warlords? Or could he be writing in a very weathered journal, filled with wrinkled pages in which he's poured every ounce of his emotions onto the thick lined sheets of his book-his personal refuge. 

And then, I imagine he has earphones in and is listening intently to every word the lyrics produce. Maybe...maybe he's listening to Josh Groban or The Piano Guys or The Canadian Tenors. And maybe, just by chance, he's listening to that music and wondering where I am-envisioning his future wife there in the same location, grabbing a coffee, reading a book or journaling expressively and deeply

And whenever he looks up, I can't help but wonder what he's looking for; is he searching for me? Is he looking at me or dreaming? I find myself fluffing my feathers occasionally, and admiring his love for literature and expression. But, never does it go any farther than wistful thought and imagination. A dream is a wish your heart makes...and my heart not only wishes, but aches for the man of my dreams to come soon. That God would bring him into my life and say "here, my daughter, you have been patient, trusting, and good; now I give back to you what you have surrendered to me so many years ago--the chance to find that earthly romance. Well done, my faithful child".

Snowpocalypse 2k15 | Tennessee Style

February 21, 2015


It's snowy. It's rainy. It's blue butt cold! To top it all off the slush is turning to ice; and to top that off it's causing the streets to flood. Never in my years of living here in the Volunteer State have I seen so much snow...and ice. 

This southern girl has always wished for a "White Christmas" of sorts, but never have I imagined it happening Valentine's weekend with 8+ inches of snow blockading us indoors for a full seven days! Call us southerners wimps about this type of weather--go ahead. But never having seen such incredible conditions hit this area (Middle Tennessee), we were thrown for a loop as to what to do about this weather. 

Of course, there were a few things we HAD to do, and a few things we WISHED we could do:

THINGS YOU HAVE TO DO-->
  • SLEEP IN: First thing to do with this winter weather, also known as "Snowpocalypse" or "Snowmageddon" was wake up around ten-ish. Um, heck yes; if you're gonna be snowed in, why not take advantage of the inability to escape the confines of one's home due to the ice!
  • EAT: Breakfast! But not just one breakfast. I think the term is second breakfast-coined by Hobbits-which means....MORE food! Because, after all, there's nothing else to do but eat, eat, eat!
  • SING FROZEN (loudly): one must rush outside to embrace this weather with the song of the "snowed-in-ones" called Let It Go. Because, after all, the snow never bothered anyone, anyway; right? 



  • BUILD A SNOWMAN!: This is self explanatory.



    • THINGS YOU WISH YOU COULD DO-->
      • GET OUT: You'll probably want to get out and go skiing. And while you will not be anywhere near "epic", you'll probably feel like you could do anything after being cooped up for so long.

      • GO TO STARBUCKS!: You despiratly need a "fix" and Starbucks is your "go-to" spot. But....you can't get there. Bummer.


      This has been my winter, folks. Or, at least my week since Sunday evening. And while I love this kind of weather, it sure does suck to be stuck inside for so LOOOONNNNNGGGG. Freedom apparently didn't come cheaply, and I have had to pay the price by living in the house with 4 other people ALL week without a break. It's a sacrifice! Hehe. Well worth it, though. I have had fun. I have enjoyed the down time. I have missed the outside world immensely. But, I don't often get a chance to just stay home and literally have the time to fellowship with my family. For that, I am truly blessed. 


      Gotta go. Gonna go paint my nails and eat more and sing the song of my people.....THE SNOW NEVER BOTHERED ME ANYWAY!!!!

      Sacred Singleness | Part Five | Contentment in Christ

      February 1, 2015

      If you have not done it yet, I encourage you to back track and read Part One, Part Two, Part Three, and Part Four before going any further. This is a series companion which I have personally wrote to accompany Leslie Ludy's "Sacred Singleness". I promise, there's nothing better than reading the word and growing in His likeness. So, if you're desperately single and want a man or woman to cling to, might I suggest reading and developing a relationship with Christ? Instead of being ashamed of your singleness and desperate to leave that season in your life, I challenge you to take a leap of faith and change that mindset. Become desperately in love with Jesus. That type of desperation, that overwhelming desire to love Him, is far more rewarding that sitting around the house waiting for Prince Charming to actually exist. 
      ____

      Wow. This week has been wild, in that it has contained a significant turn of events-at work, in my spiritual walk, and in my life in general. There has been a lot going on at work that has had me stressed to the max. It's not that things are going to pots where I work, but some things (i.e. people's work ethic and moral) really start effecting those who try to maintain a healthy and positive attitude. This has not only effected my work life, but my spiritual walk and overall life as well. 

      It's been a process this week to get back on track, as well as step back to examine my needs, spiritual-wise and health-wise. And in this process I realized that working ten hour days (which I really have no problem doing if people do their part) is just too much when you are taking three classes, trying to graduate this year (Lord willing!), and trying to have your own life outside of the normal 8 to closing working hours. I am not complaining my any means! I love my job and the kids I teach. But, I would never do it for free. And because I wouldn't do my job for free, and because I am such a"yes" person, I have had to really get my priorities straight. School vs. work vs. health vs. life. Which comes out on top? Health. Then school. Then life. Then work. I have health issues. I am Bipolar and have severe General Anxiety. I take medication for both, which have their own side-effects that I have to deal with on top of everything else. 



      Anyhow, let me tell you what I learned from this week: 

      (1): That I think way too much. I am a thinker. Worrier. I am often my own worst enemy when it comes to dealing with panic attacks. I often provoke them. I learned that in this area, I need to really rely on Jesus and trust that He will do all things for my good. 

      (2): I am a "yes" person, as I have already established. And because of this general tendency to say "yes" to EVERYTHING and EVERYONE I often get myself into sticky situations that sometimes I can barely handle, much less get out of. I get taken advantage of easily because of this. Yet, this week, I learned the power of the word "NO". My boss wanted to permanently put me on the 8-close shift at work. I told her "No, that won't work. I can work 8-close only two days a week, the other three days, I am leaving early." 

      (3): that being single still stinks regardless of the thickness of your rose colored glasses. But-in the same breath, I learned another lesson in having contentment in Christ on a daily basis. 
      ____

      And with that, I want to take that cue and transition right into what my primary purpose is for this post, which is learning to be content in Christ. However, often times I have wondered if this were even a possibility? How can one be content in Christ when there is so much discontentment in the world?! How does one even start? 
      As the deer pants for the water brooks, So pants my soul for You, O God. {Psalm 42:1}
      I would like to think my faith is as deep as the roots of an old Oak tree, and my contentment in Christ as fragrant as the most expensive perfume. I would even like to think that with both of those combined I would be able to survive a year of solitary confinement and come out on the other side more radiant than ever before. Don't get me wrong: I don't ever want to be put in that position. But, the gist is this: I want my faith and contentment in Christ to be so strong and so real that even if I was to be confined for a year, I would never loose sight of the most important thing in life: that Jesus is all I need. 

      Doesn't quite fit in with the whole dating scheme; but then again, it kind of does. I mean, singleness, much like being confined can either make or break us. In both situations, the option is either to give up and sulk, or continue to press on and find fulfillment in Christ, in which you come out on the other side more alive and glowing than ever imagined! 

      There is an error in our 21 century thinking, ladies and gents. It is a lie that has penetrated modern teachings, and it simply states this: "Jesus Christ is no longer enough to fulfill the longings of [our] hearts", and according to Ludy, these lies also state that when you are looking to "Him alone for satisfaction and contentment, you are fighting against the way God made you and merely trying to 'over-spiritualize your singleness'"(Ludy 66; emphasis added).

      ____

      As the deer pants for the water brook, So pants my soul for You, O God {Psalm 42:1}

      Marriage is a blessed institution, it is evident throughout scripture. It was created by God for two people—woman and man—as a symbol of God’s love and unyielding devotion to His earthly brides. In my humble opinion, Jesus is enough. Even marriage cannot replace the need for our Heavenly Father. He fills our all in all—not a man or a woman. Those special people in our lives are miniscule in comparison to the significance of our Creator.

      While there is an importance regarding marriage in a Biblical context, many have succumb to this idea that the reason why God created Eve for Adam was because (A) is was not good for Adam to be alone, and (B) because God Himself was not enough to fulfill Adam’s needs. How can it be that the Creator of the universe (who created all things in a matter of seven days!) not be enough to fulfill the desires and needs of the human He created out of nothing? Something seems off to me about this ideology. A human body can fulfill all human desires while a supernatural being (who created EVERYTHING) cannot?!

      Where have we gone wrong?! This thought process surely sounds appealing, but it is pure fiction compared to the factual evidence provided by the B.I.B.L.E. Marriage was created by God because, yes, it wasn’t good for Adam to be alone (Genesis 2:18). However, this by no means provides evidence for this conceptual idea that God is not enough. Adam was created from the dust of the earth (Genesis 2:7) by his creator. He was designed with a purpose—to glorify the Heavenly Father. Not the other way around. In addition to this, I feel strongly that God created Eve because Adam needed a “helper, a companion to do the work on earth God had called him to do” (Ludy 67). Yes, marriage was created to have many blessings and benefits for both Adam and Eve during their relationship with each other, but their marriage was never meant to take the place of God.

      Read:

      Psalm 73:25
      Psalm 16:11
      Psalm 107:9

      Ludy mentions in her book that “marriage was not designed to make up for what God lacked”, in fact Ludy mentions that God “created marriage to be a reflection of the perfect union and fellowship that we have in Him” (Ludy 67). God alone is the one who fills all in all—not man or woman. Marriage between a man and woman was created to be a platform for the ultimate romance between the Bridegroom and His bride. If you don’t believe me, check out the book Songs of Solomon. I am sure then, you’ll get the big picture.

      ____

      So-like I said, I struggle daily with accepting singleness and finding contentment in Christ during this season in my life. Such a process! I have a love-hate relationship with being single. I don't often get asked if I am single, but when I do, it feels as though someone is burning another hole into my already hamburger heart. I mean, what am I supposed to say?! If I say "no" I get looks of scrutiny and pity. If I say "yes" (which would be a lie), I get bombarded by celebratory and some inappropriate questions that only serve to hammer another bruise in my heart. Either way, I am faced with having to confront inner demons on the subject of singleness. I long for it to end, but in the same breath I enjoy it. 

      There are ups and downs. And during this season I have grown so much. And in many of the cases in which people question me about whether I am called to singleness, I answer "today I am". Today I am consumed by the love of my Lord. Consumed with loving Him. Knowing Him. Serving Him. And worshiping Him. I am certain my husband is around the corner waiting for me just like I am for Him. But until that day comes, today I am single. Loving it. Living it. And surrendering daily to my King. 

      I am not worried about what other people think of me. In fact, I kind of enjoy seeing their disgruntled reactions when I tell them that I am twenty-two and single. (Apparently you're supposed to be at least engaged by my age?!). I am not an arrogant feminist with a dogmatic "anti-man" attitude; I simply don't see the point in putting my life on hold until I meet "the one". If I do that I might miss out on some of the most epic moments life has to offer. Thus, I am going to go against the grain-the advice of modern Christian culture to "hurry up and get married" and discover the beauty behind why I have been called to be single during this season in my life (1 Corinthians 7). 

      Remember: God is enough. Do not pine your life away waiting for something when God is telling you to take your singleness and run with it. Embrace it. Thrive during this time. Discover singleness and the beauty of building a concrete foundation in Christ. I promise, it's gonna prepare you for the road ahead. You'll be a better person because of it. Trust me: I have been single for a year. I have my pity-parties, for sure. But I rest in the fact that my relationship in Christ is preparing me for my future husband. That's what singleness is all about. It's the calm before the storm. 

      Sacred Singleness | Part Four | The Modern Church and Singleness

      January 25, 2015

      If you are just now starting this series, I would highly encourage you to stop by and read Part One, Part Two, and Part Three before going any further. This series is a conglomeration of pieces from the heart, pieces from my past dating excursions, and pieces of wisdom from Leslie Ludy's book "Sacred Singleness", which is is the reasoning behind the name of this series I have been writing for you lovely ladies and gents. 

      In this, I hope to convey my strong convictions about the purpose and blessings of singleness, which-in all hopes!-will encourage you to take pride and joy in this season of your life, as well as combat the lies that have invaded modern Christian views and standards in the 21st century church. Us as singles do not have to fear this season. Instead, we need to take on this season with pride, determination, and joy as we use this time to NOT pursue, but lean on God and grow closer to Him. Waiting is hard, but being persistently engrossed with our Lord is the best love story you could ever imagine. Take the plunge. Dive into the crystal clear waters of a love that is like chaos and as sweet as honey. You are gonna love what you discover! 

      Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. {Psalm 34:5}
      I am sitting in my classroom full of babies at nap time, thinking about how lonely rainy days feel to me. They are some of the hardest days to overcome when I am wishing I had someone special to dance in the rain with. Most of the time I daydream during rainy days like this. And wish. And hope. And grieve. 

      I mean, after all, that is considered to be okay...right? It is okay to grieve this state of singleness and want to end it with a man by my side--in perfect wedded bliss? That is okay, they say. That is what the modern voices say, anyway. It is okay to be unsettled with being single. It is okay to put constant pressure on the opposite sex, to pursue heavily they type of man you think you want, to be discontent with this season of singleness--all because God made marriage; and that somehow means we MUST be married at ALL costs. 

      But-is it really okay? Is it okay to live in greed and envy and lust? 

      What is the "problem" with being single? It is almost as if being single were a crime against God or something. Gosh! Heck-it is not easy being single. Do people think we purposefully choose to be single knowing deep down our desire is to be married?! No. During this time, one has to surrender daily the dreams of being married back to God and learn to be content with being single. This is how we find the joy in this season. We work at it, DAILY. 

      And yet, how can we learn to be "content" when being a single person-surrounded by fellow Christians-seems to breed discontentment? Impatience? Insecurity? Rather than joy, inspiration, and strength? (Ludy 58). Like I mentioned in Part Two, this modern Christian view appears to appeal to the self-centered human desires to do only for ourselves what is in our best interest. And of course, it has nothing to do with God's interests. Period. Apparently God takes too long to write this so-called love story. So, I guess because of this "slowness" the sinful human nature in us decided that it is our "right" to dictate when and how our love story should happen. But-isn't God the one who created marriage in the first place? If we are so dead set on getting married because it was created by God, should not we wait on Him to decide when it is best for us? 

      The lie that these modern Christian voices would have you believe is that being single is BAD. Or, that it is unhealthy. However, in my opinion, it is what these Christian voices have to say about being single that poses a health risk. It is okay to take the "matters of God" into our own hands, is the message many voices preach. Really?! Since when did God need our help with ANYTHING? After all, He ALONE created all of Creation in...seven days. Hello!

      Modern Christian voices have become insensitive towards young men and women who are single. And American Christianity does not offer any form of encouragement, nor do they support the "concept of letting god orchestrate our love story" (Ludy 58). Discouragement from the church is intrusive. It breeds sin and wreaks of dissipated faith, lost hope, and total denial. 

      That is one reason why I had to stop going to my former church about a month ago. The small group I was in-The Hub-was geared towards singles. No problem there, really. But this "hub" of singles was a place for desperate singles to come and prey on other singles who were looking for love. I was one of those desperate singles. Believe me, it was not pretty. Or becoming. The Hub was a group of unhappy and seemingly hungry "zoo animals" ready to pounce on that one person they felt took an interest in them. And I was one of them, for a LONG time. 

      Church should in no way, shape or form be treated as a free dating service! It was never intended to be a come-to-Jesus-and-you-will-get-a-husband-for-free kind of moment. Yet, these messages of "pursue, pursue, pursue" resonate "with our fleshly, selfish nature-the part of us that craves to be n control of our own lives and satisfy the desires of our hearts outside of God" (Ludy 58), because they allow wiggle room for us to be able to "justify" this "take it into my own hands" mentality.; and because God designed it (being marriage) for us. And of course, that makes it all the more appealing when we can add a spiritual umbrella on a selfish ambition.  

      It does not surprise me anymore that most singles who choose to "embrace" their season(s) of singleness are referred to as ignorant and naive. What is so naive about "waiting on God" and bidding your time as a single person, enjoying life and freedom and wisely choosing to "be still" and lean on God? It has to do with the face that God is no longer front and center in the lives of many 21st century Christians; because the faith and beliefs of our ancestors have dissipated into a faith and belief that has "no real life or power", and "instead of zeal there is apathy. Instead of courage there is timidity. And instead of confidence in God there is paralyzing doubt" (Ludy 59).

      It frustrates me to hear and read Christian authors and pastors preach God's Word with no real impactful insight or deep and meaningful commentary. At the church I used to go to there was a lot of glitz and glam. The worship service was a weekly concert and the services were all feel-good sermons. What agitated me was not the glitz and glam, but the presentation of God's Word vs man's. In each sermon (which was always a 4 wk series) there was barely a paragraphed passage to base the sermon off of; then a lengthy explanation about that certain passage that has been chosen: money, sex, etc., with very little cross referencing to make an impactful and insightful sermon dense and deep.  

      it was different from what I had grown up with: verse by verse, book by book. No series (unless based off of a whole book of the bible), just a deep Bible study through each book of the Bible for sometimes months on end. Granted, it was sometimes a little dry, and sometimes it did not always captivate the imagination like the "topical" studies would. But-unlike those topical studies, those in-depth sermons were not humanly scripted narratives "that can be edited and changed to mean whatever we want it to mean", but they focused on the absolute, undiluted truth (Ludy 59). 

      Anyway, what I am trying to get at is this: that compared to twenty years ago, the Gospel no longer has the same impact as it once had, which allows for humans to take advantage of the church's weaknesses and manipulate the Word of God into justifiably plausible to suit their desired purpose. And all of this has had a tremendous impact on the modern church's approach towards singles (Ludy 59). There are a lot of lies floating around hidden under the "banner" of solid Christian wisdom,: challenging Christian singles to rethink the gift of singleness.

      Author Debbie Maken mentions in her book "Getting Serious About Getting Married" that "the belief that remaining single is legitimate and godly is a work of the devil. Read that again: Satan dishonors marriage by fooling us into believing that singleness is okay" (43). And apparently singleness is not only the work of the devil, according to Maken, but those who are single are considered to be "mutilated members of a mangled body" (28). 

      That right there is a lot of pressure-pressure to "shed the stigma of singleness", mentions Ludy (61). The sad part is that Debbie Maker is not the only Christian voice out there sending these negative vibes and confusing signals to the singles community. In her book "Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen", Candice Watlers explains what singles can do to "help" marriage happen (22, 28). It is irrational to think that these messages are Biblically sound-let alone true-because the messages presented are ones that are basically stating that "Christ isn't enough to provide the fulfillment we long for" (Ludy 62). 

      The struggle as a single is real. But-to have these negative connotations thrown at us from all sides only adds to the drama we face internally each day as we live the single life: trying to surrender daily, sacrificing human desires in order to have that deeper connection with Christ. Being single does not mean you have to feel guilty about not having that "special someone" to love. Or, that you have to put your life on hold, "assuming that marriage is when [your] 'real life' will begin" (Ludy 63; emphasis added).

      The best kept secret to being happy while being single is to LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE. There are so many ways to give and receive love. Love is not specified for one person alone, but for a multitude of people. If it was meant only for one person then all of us would be destined for eternal enslavement in Hell. But because God loved the world, He died for all. And because of His never ending love, we are commanded to love the world as well (John 13:34).

       Embrace the single life with every fiber of your being. Go on missions. Lead a small group. Take a week off and go somewhere new. Spend hours on end growing closer to the ultimate Bridegroom. Learn something new. Become comfortable with who you are. Discover new places to eat with friends. And never stop pursuing that perfect love story with Christ. Because in the end, when it comes down to it, God remains constant...man does not. 

      Sacred Singleness | Part Three | Finding Romantic Fulfillment

      January 23, 2015

      If you're just now reading this series, I would love it if you'd take the time to read Part One and Part Two as an introduction to the continuation of the series, so that you might understand better what is going on and what I am talking about. My purpose for writing these segments are to inform singles about their purpose for being single and to encourage them that this season of their life is a higher calling than they could ever imagine!
      A spirit of restlessness and resistance can never wait, but one who believes he is loved with an everlasting love, and knows that underneath are the everlasting arms, will find strength and peace. {Elisabeth Elliot}

      Oh, my! Romance--I am almost over the whole romantic fulfillment deal. When you've dated as many guys as I have *palm to face* you'll understand why my views on romance with "earthly" men have somewhat dissipated.  It isn't that I have a BAD attitude towards romance or men. But-it does take time for a hamburger heart to heal from so many failed attempts to take relationships into one's own hands by giving a little to much and getting nothing in return.
       For He satisfies the longing soul. {Psalm 107:9}
      Ladies and Gents, I will tell you the honest truth: the best romance of all times is with our beloved Jesus Christ. It's that simple, yet just as complex! Being so in love with my sweet Jesus hasn't always been this easy. In fact, just months ago I was still pining my time on the first dude I dated back in 2013. What a sap! I remember crying over this guy only months ago praying that God would somehow find it befitting to place this man back into my life. 

      However, the more I prayed the more I realized that I didn't need a guy itching to go to second and third base with me when I had a heavenly father itching to develop a close and reckless relationship with me; a relationship that would be much more rewarding and fulfilling in the end. 

      Girls and guys desire romance in a different way. Girls long from their prince charming to sweep them off their feet. And guys long to be the prince doing the sweeping--"the women are to be conquered"! Huzzah! (okay, I took some liberty in explaining that. But if you gents would go read Wild At Heart by John Eldredge you'd get a clear picture and find that I am almost spot on). 

      Anyhow, to keep this post relatively short, I just want to give you guys a brief glimpse at the romance of a life time that you are missing out on. Not to say that I have a perfect romance with my King (I am only human), but the relationship is priceless and the work required on my half to keep it where it needs to be is well worth it!


      _____

      I love it when I get some time alone-without another soul around asking for attention. Why? Because, during this time I want to be able to transfix myself upon the glory of the Lord and really, truly discover (in the moment) the beauty of the Ultimate Bridegroom. In her book, "Sacred Singleness" (for those of you who might not remember), Leslie Ludy talks about the beauty and the precious moments being in the season(s) of singleness can provide. She mentions, in regards to discovering the beauty of our Ultimate Bridegroom, that "Jesus Christ is the One who ultimately satisfies the deepest needs and desires of [our] hearts" (Ludy 47; emphasis added). 

      Hebrews 13:8 has this to say: "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever". Thinking about this verse sends shivers up and down my spine because of the perfect imagery it provides in correlation to who God is and who we are not. He knows our hearts even better than we do-because He created us. Not just to exist and pine our days waiting for our one true love to come waltzing over to us in heals or sensual cologne. He created us with impeccable taste and filled us with the desire for romance only He can fill. And He will always be the most prince/friend a heart could ever want. 
      ____

      I don't have an earthly fool-proof secret to share from my own struggles, but a supernatural secret that is far more real and lovely. The secret is this: "if you want a remarkable human love story, fall in love with Jesus Christ" (Ludy 50). That pretty much sums it up, ladies and gents. Fall in love with Jesus Christ. I can guarantee it will be the most remarkable love story ever told! Colossians 1:18 speaks to us a reminder of the position Christ MUST have in EVERY SINGLE area of our lives. He needs to be our top priority. He longs to be our number one. 

      So, my question is this: is He first place in your live, or does the hope of an earthy love take center stage? Are you willing to let go of those romantic notions in your head for a piece of divine romance according to God's specifications? A truly beautiful reckless type of love that is far from fathomable, but purely enjoyable and fulfilling

      Madame Jeanne Guyon wrote:
      Abandonment is practiced by continually losing your own will in the will of God; by plunging your will into the depths of His will, there to be lost forever! Abandonment must reach a point where you stand in complete indifference to yourself. The attitude will bring you to the most wonderful point imaginable--where your will breaks free of you completely and becomes free to be joined to the will of God! You will desire only what He desires" (Jeanne Guyon "Experiencing the Depths of Christ" 35). 
      I must be honest and say this: I am one to cling to what feels comfortable. To stay in a realm of familiarity--a place I have created to fill a void, controlled chaos, to be invisible. My life is as I have created it to be; and a lot of the times that means my life is (1) stressful, (2) chaotic, (3) and lonely. I choose to be that way because a lot of the times I would rather stay in one season for an extended period of time, knowing the comforts of it's familiar surroundings, rather than choose a life of reckless abandonment. Why? Because reckless abandonment means I'd be letting go of my agenda and surrendering wholly to the will of God. And I am a stubborn girl. It's hard!

      Many people, like myself, cling to their own agenda. However, the key to fully resting in Christ is to surrender, but not because there's an ulterior motive. But, because we want and desire to have a thriving love story with Jesus. Sometimes loneliness can be painful. We don't want to wait. We want to fill the void at all costs. And yet, it is during this tender time that we need to lean all the more upon Christ because in Him we will find a readiness and a willingness to satisfy the cry of our hearts (Ludy 51). And even if you never get married on this earth, know that Jesus is the ultimate Bridegroom, the Lover of your soul. Its the best love story with the best cast member-Jesus Christ. He's the key to romantic fulfillment, folks!