musings of a preschool teacher || the ex files

"Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them
 become what they are capable of becoming."
 -- Goethe

In my experience from being a child myself, the best teachers were those who understood the needs of a child as if they were still one themselves. Now-a-days, I find this trait to be very rare. Anyone can teach a child, but not everyone can do it really well. Like I said, the best teachers are those who can put themselves into the child's shoes and understand them on their level. 

I must be honest and say that I haven't always liked kids. I didn't even care for my own baby cousins. Kids were diseased and I wanted NO part of their slobbery disposition. But-stuffed somewhere in the back of my messed-up heart, I identified with them. I understood them-their language, their body movements, their needs. As a teacher you have to anticipate all those things in order to 1) make you're classroom run smoothly, and 2) make the children feel comfortable. Without those two important aspects of being a teacher, you've already lost the battle. 

Teaching children at my preschool has been a blessing beyond my wildest dreams! It's always been a desire (but one I tried to ignore) to teach. But not just teach, but also to love. It's truly amazing to watch teachers, both from the opposite spectrum, try to get a child to do something they do not want to do. A teacher that doesn't understand the ways of a child will lose the fight because they cannot communicate with a two-year-old at their level. Quite honestly, from my experience, this is where you throw logic and intelligence out the window, find your inner child, and place yourselves in those little girl/boy sneakers.

The one that does the later usually gets the best results. Why? Good question. From experience, it's those that can identify with the child, that have the greatest impact on and bond with the child. And when you have a loving bond with a child, they're more likely to do as you say (give or take a temper tantrum or two). And even though they throw a fit, there's still a knowing between the two of you that you're the boss; and that you're gonna win-temper tantrum or not. And you don't do it out of hate. Patience with children is your best friend. But so is a motherly voice and having "the fire in your eyes"! Trust me, a child knows when you're being serious or just feeding them bologna. 

I've discovered that if you want a child to do something they don't want to do: you have to explain to them in simple terms why they need to, for example, get their diaper changed. Sometimes, it's quite laughable the response you get from the children as they argue with you that their diaper is not dirty--

"I not dirdy" they might say.

"I hate to break it to you, bud. But you're soggy."

"I not sooggy!" they might argue, with a snicker.

"Ha! Yes, you are."

"I not!" they giggle.

All-in-all, I have discovered that children feed off off tough love in a more positive way than they do with harsh discipline. Yelling isn't the answer, and hugs and kisses for every little scrape isn't, either. Tough love combines the understanding of how to deal with a child in a positive way, while also integrating a certain level of discipline that the children need to learn how to fear and respect. 


I realized something that scared me senseless a couple days ago. I am not over my ex. Out of all the guys I have dated, this man has been the only "official" boyfriend I've had. EVER. And I am alarmed by the fact that after a year and a half, I still have the very same feelings I had for him as I did on day one.

What's up with that?! 

A couple days ago he decided to Facebook me about wanting to come to my church. I was like "WHA! You want to come to MY church? We haven't talked in a year, and haven't seen each other in a year and a half. And you want to come to church-the place I fled to in order to find a love that would not leave or forsake me?! You want to encroach on MY space. How thoughtless".

I about had a cow. I feel bad, because I reacted to his message in haste. I basically read the message once and instantly said "heck NO!"
It wasn't Christ-like of me at all, to say the least. 
But after a year and a half of not once seeing him, I got scared at the idea of being able to once again see the guy I'd fallen in love with. 
And I was scared, because I don't want to see him-even though I really want to. But in reality, I don't want those feelings I had for him to come back. 
I have done a fine job of stuffing those feelings for him down the drain; and now they've resurfaced. I almost can't risk my heart getting trampled on AGAIN. 

However, I am reminded by my God-daily-that in Him my heart is safe. That He is in control. He knows my future. He knows the reasons why my ex wants to come to my church. And I should rest in all those facts. Whatever happens...happens; because it's all in His hands.

Paul says in Romans 8:28 that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, whhave been called according to his purpose"And in Psalm 147:3, David writes: "He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their wounds".

So- in other words, I need to just let GO! 

Sometimes though, we don't understand the ways of God-let alone fathom what those plans mean for us. This is where "relying on faith" comes in to play; because when we don't understand the workings of God, we really need to just shut up and listen rather than pester him with foolish questions.


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