// breakups are hard || there is a season

October 12, 2014


Morning, Ya'll! 

Today is a tad-bit wet, and dark, and solemn. It's been this way for the past several days, actually. Some of the days past, it's not looked too friendly-with all the severe weather activity floating through the air. 

Today is calm and serene (a good day for a walk!), and I hope to find you all well and enjoying this beautiful, rainy, coffee-weather Sunday! 

I hate storms. Not your typical thunderstorm with that majestic lightning streaking through the sky. But those hail storms that are usually followed by severe wind and tornadoes. The weather people are calling for severe weather tomorrow and Tuesday for us, and I am already in panic mode. Needless to say storms stress me out!

But the storms that we encounter through different weather patterns are nowhere near as stressful as the storms of life. And trust me, I am very familiar to the storms of life. Sometimes they're just a cloudy patch in the sky surrounded by sunshine-a small bit of rain needed to water the garden. Yet, other times, the sky is so black you can't make out the good from the bad-all you see is despair-a foreboding storm bringing destruction. 

Last year... I went through a breakup that left me devastated and confused. This was one of those storms of life I had never experienced before. It was hardly mutual. But I went along with it peaceably so he would leave quickly and allow me time to cry. Like I mentioned in my last post, I had not seen him in over a year. 

And tonight I see him for the second time in forever! But the funny thing is, unlike last week, I am not nervous. It's almost like I could care less to see the man who broke my heart, like, I am over and done with this (for the first time!), and am so ready to move on to greener pastures. 

God uses different things to grab our attention and direct us back to Him. While in that relationship with my ex, there was NO God. Just the two of us. The time I had with my ex was memorable, sure. But the time I have had without him in my life has been a monumental learning experience. One of the major lessons was taught through the past year after my breakup was obedience.  

God doesn't promise us an easy life when we become followers of Christ. In fact, He is blatantly honest about the sufferings we will endure for His cause (Philippians 1:29). But, He also tells us that we will suffer by enduring trials and tribulations of many kinds (James 1:2). It's not easy to be obedient. If it were easy it would be a breeze to raise a child, to willingly obey your parents, or even fearlessly follow your boss. 

It wasn't an instantaneous lesson learned. In fact, it took a stinking year-and-a-half to even start realizing that this was something God was trying to instill in me. Granted, I am a very obedient person. To a fault, even. But when it came to obeying God-I fell flat. 

Hebrews 5:8 says that “Though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered.” 

This passage is very true in regards to my own personal life. I have found it, more often than naught, that God uses our sufferings to teach us obedience. This reminds me of my mom. She used the results of my bad attitude as a child to show me the consequences of being disobedient. A slap on the wrist, a pat on the butt, a nose in the corner, a week’s worth of being grounded...were just a few ways she used my unwillingness to obey to teach me about obedience. And more often than I can remember, those momentary moments of suffering were teaching me about surrendering to obedience. 

And while none of us care to surrender to obedience, I can honestly say that the lesson is worth learning. You not only learn about yourself through the eyes of Christ, but you learn that being obedient doesn't mean you lose yourself in the process. Being obedient to Christ means you are investing in your spiritual well-being. It means you're willing to follow wherever He may lead. 

<<>> 

That leads me to my next point. I am feeling so inspired by God today! He has been teaching me so many things over the past year-and-a-half and I am absolutely blessed by the blessings of this grand adventure of singleness that he has chosen to place me on. 

This morning I was reading my Bible. Sometimes I allow the Bible to just randomly flip to a chapter, and from there I start reading. Today's random-but not so random-chapter was Ecclesiastes 3. 

There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
    a time to be born and a time to die,
    a time to plant and a time to uproot,
    a time to kill and a time to heal,
    a time to tear down and a time to build,
    a time to weep and a time to laugh,
    a time to mourn and a time to dance,
    a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
    a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
    a time to search and a time to give up,
    a time to keep and a time to throw away,
    a time to tear and a time to mend,
    a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8    a time to love and a time to hate,    a time for war and a time for peace.
What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.
15 Whatever is has already been,
    and what will be has been before;
    and God will call the past to account.[b]
16 And I saw something else under the sun:
In the place of judgment—wickedness was there,
    in the place of justice—wickedness was there.
17 I said to myself,
“God will bring into judgment
    both the righteous and the wicked,
for there will be a time for every activity,
    a time to judge every deed.”
18 I also said to myself, “As for humans, God tests them so that they may see that they are like the animals. 19 Surely the fate of human beings is like that of the animals; the same fate awaits them both: As one dies, so dies the other. All have the same breath[c]; humans have no advantage over animals. Everything is meaningless. 20 All go to the same place; all come from dust, and to dust all return. 21 Who knows if the human spirit rises upward and if the spirit of the animal goes down into the earth?”
22 So I saw that there is nothing better for a person than to enjoy their work, because that is their lot. For who can bring them to see what will happen after them?

In this chapter James speaks of the transitions in life during our brief time here on earth. And as singles we need to remember that our life  “appears for a little time and vanishes away.” It's true! I have struggled with being single for over a year when my ex and I broke things off. I felt like I had been abandoned, like my world was coming to an end. Surly, I though, this is a sign that I am to be single for the rest of my life. No one wants me!  

The season of singleness often feels like an endless steamroller smashing down your hopes and dreams one bad date after another. You often feel like your time is running short and your luck is running out-that if you don't find the one pronto before the clock strikes midnight, you'll poof back into a modern-day version of Cinderella. However, there is HOPE! And one thing I have had to learn to do is change my thought process from woe is me during my lowest times in this season into a celebration. Why? Because, while this sounds so uncool, I have had to learn that I need to see my singleness as something that may last only a season. That it's not a forever deal. 

There are still days I feel so alone. Stuck. And like my life is coming unglued. But through this season of being single God has taught me several things. And has used this time to draw me closer to Him. Because, after all, what's a better way to fall than into the loving arms of Jesus?! 

Need some good pointers? Take a look:
  • 1 JOHN 3: 1 Know that you are God’s child, He loves you, and has moved heaven and earth to send Jesus to redeem you. We are the children of God NOW, not just after we die. As a child of God you have so many blessings to help you. You have God’s Spirit within you. How precious you are, single or married!
  • JOSHUA 1: 9 Be strong and of good courage! Joshua, the great leader of the people of God challenges us today. Face life with your faith. Take off the victim coat and burn it. We feel stuck when we feel like a victim. We feel out of control, we begin to see ourselves as hopeless, luckless victims. Refuse this mindset by repeating over and over “WITH GOD’S HELP, I AM DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.”
  • JOSHUA 24: 15 Joshua again challenges us to “choose this day whom you shall serve.”. Use your power of choice. You have MORE CHOICES THAN YOU REALIZE. You can choose your actions. For instance, you don’t HAVE to have a job. You might say, “Sure I have to have a job, I have bills to pay, stuff I am responsible for”. That is correct. What I say to you is this, you are CHOOSING to go to work to avoid bad consequences. That’s different than HAVING to go to work, when you retain your power of choice, you are no longer a victim.
  • ISAIAH 40: 6 All life is as the grass of the field. Accept the instability and transient nature of life. With God in our lives, we can weather all the storms and changes life throws our way. He is our rock, our sword, our shield. We can rest in Him, study His Word, pray, and grow deeper and stronger every day.
Take joy in being single! Take time to enjoy your life and go on a grand adventure only you as a single lady or gent can do. Go explore all the world has to offer! Dive into a glorious and passionate relationship with Christ. Get to know Him on a personal level. Get lost in His glory. Become obsessed with Him in this season. Face life head on and enjoy this season of singleness!

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