Today is one of those days. Those low self-esteem kind of days where all you want to do is hide your body and pretend like certain parts of your body don't exist. I used to get this way regularly. You know, like, daily. If not hourly. I have parts of my body I hate. I do! I hate my arms, stomach, and boobs. And I often compare them to others girls who have the same issues or have it better than myself.
I wish my stomach was flatter.
I wish my arms were smaller
I wish wish my boobs were bigger.
But I can't have those. And dwelling on them only makes me depressed; it does nothing to make those issues that are "in my head" better than they already are. I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and did what I haven't done in ages-I did a body check. For those of you who do not know what that is, it is a mindless anxiety trait-usually used by those with eating disorders to check their body for "normalcy"-in that case, to check for fat, bone...to make sure they're not gaining weight.
I usually body check periodically. And to be honest, when I can't feel ribs or my collar bone, I automatically go into a disordered mode of thinking. "Well, if I can't feel bone, I must be fat!" Regardless if it's actually fat or muscle. And either a diet or disordered way of eating ensues.
However, this morning, as I was reading my BIBLE, I ran across-as I normally do-a verse that struck a cord with me-Song of Solomon 4:7
As earthly women, we are able to find flaws in anything-especially our own bodies. Not to mention in other women, too. But this verse, as if God was speaking directly to me, states that there is NO FLAW in me. That I was made in the image of Christ and that if He made me in His image, then I must be as flawless as the Bible states. Maybe not in my eyes, but in God's eyes I am!