Slow Down

Listening to: Slow Down-Aly&AJ
Wise Words: “Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.” –Abraham Lincoln
Attention all girls, guys, geeks, dweebs, germs, and weirdos alike! I have two words for all you who are taking this dating-relationship-thing too far: SLOW DOWN! Seriously, you have your whole life ahead of you to get serious about the whole relationship aspect of life. Don't tie yourself down to the silly fascination of teenage love. Live life and experience the wonderful world God has placed at your disposal. There's more to you teenage years than worrying about being in a relationship. Why not live freely in the beautiful world of singleness? It's pretty sweet.

Okay, so I have never dated. It's okay, go ahead and laugh at me. In fact, I encourage it. But, I do understand that when you're in a relationship, it feels as though you've crash landed on a fluffy marshmallow cloud. I get it. It's cool.

Sometimes I find myself imagining what it would be like to have my feet swept out from under me. My imagination reveals to me pretty much anything I want, and in the sincerest form of perfection, too. But the practical realist inside of me can't help producing a more realistic version of teen love, or "puppy love". 

I have observed and know a lot of teens whose relationships 'did not last'. According to Dateable: Are you? Are They?: most of the time teen relationships never do. Pretty simple and straight forward, right? Yet, how can that be true when some teens end up marrying their highschool sweet heart? I can't really give you a surefire explanation-other than it was God who was in control over those situations. 

In most cases, however, teen relationships do not last. All teen relationships have an expiration date. Picture a jug of milk. Milk only lasts for a period of time before it is either used in your cereal or thrown out. This is essentially the same method to teen dating. When the girl or the guy is done with their boyfriend or girlfriend, they dump them and go in search for something better.

This is the reason why girls and guys should take the whole dating/relationship thing slowly. It's practical and will minimize the chances of getting severely hurt in the long run. Trust me, I've seen many a broken heart. Teen relationships are a messy business, especially when most teens don't fully understand sacrificial love and selflessness.

The code of conduct for love is this:  
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" (1 Corinthians 1-13).
Do you honestly think that teenaged "puppy love" could ever give what's required to be successful-to truly give love? Teen love, to me, seems to go in the opposite direction. It's not kind, humble, calm, selfless, hopeful, persevering (if it's not working out, they move on!). Granted, relationships aren't all hunky-dory. They have their own set of faults. But, don't you think that teens should slow down and get to know each other person before making any rash decisions, and commit to something they might possibly regret? Even adults should do this. Lord knows there are plenty who need to be re-schooled on how to be in a relationship. 

And where do you thing teens learn their dating skills from? That's right-the last generation. Teens take their "Q" from adults. Monkey see, monkey do! 

Teen romances are overrated to an extent. Yes, some are blissful and end up working out. But the majority end up moving on, cheating, breaking up. It's always something. A crazy, kaleidoscopic Soap Opera! Something is always bound to go wrong. Why is this? Because teens go headlong into a realm they know nothing about. Love is not a toy or a childish pastime. It's a commitment, a sacrifice, a serious thing of the heart. Emotions are on the line, hearts of the chopping block. Teens so fully invest themselves in their little "puppy love" that in the end, when the whole world comes crashing down on them, they end up getting hurt. 

In some cases their sexual purity is gone. The connection they once had with their friends is zilch because they failed to note that they existed. The relationship that they did or might have had with their family has gone down the tube. And their grades, school activities-practically their whole life-revolved around someone who ended up hurting them two weeks later. 

So, my advice is this: to avoid getting hurt, take the whole dating thing slowly. Be "just friends" and enjoy the company of the other person for who they are.  Don't try to amp things up by being promiscuous, or revving up than engine to get things moving faster. Take the hands off approach. Be good friends for a long time, then you can, if you feel comfortable, move to phase two: holding hands.


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    Brenda W.


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