So, the other day was the first time I have ever been on a date. It was last Sunday, I think. I had gotten off work and scrambled home to get ready, not sure if I wanted to go. I talked it over with my mom and she said I didn't have to go, but I wanted to because I felt that I needed to. Basically I felt that I owed this guy something for already rejecting him five times previously.
I knew I really didn't owe him anything, but that's what I felt that I had to do. It was an obligation to uphold. However, after deciding that I didn't want to go out on this date, I felt better knowing that I did, because it was a positive experience. We both went to see a movie and ate pizza. The conversion was a little repetitive, yet it was decent enough to make the night fly fast.
I learned something that day: there is no reason I should feel obligated whatsoever to go on a date with a guy, especially if he's one that I don't have an attraction to physically or mentally. He is, however, a decent Christian guy friend that I have enjoyed talking to over the past few months.
He did, I believe since he dressed up and paid for the movie and food, that we were on a date. I wasn't keen on that idea, but wasn't going to denounce that idea until I knew for sure how the night would pan out. It was a date. And I was a little confused.
Now-a-days the saying "hang out" has more terms than it used to, especially involving a girl/guy relationship. I thought it meant we here actually hanging out, but obviously it was a date. It was a little irritating, but I got over it after trying to focus on the Lord and allow Him to take control of the date; and He lead me to the conclusion that the guy wasn't for me and that I needed to make it known that I was not looking to date.
I think I told him something like this:
"Hey, I had a fun time the other night, but I need to let you know that I am not looking to get into a relationship at the moment. I have been through so much this year medically that I am just trying to catch up on life and live singly while I can. I like you, but not in that way. I just thought that I needed to be honest with you if we're to be friends. We're still friends, right? I hope so. And I hope this is OK.
So, another lesson was to always be truthful and never feel inferior or consent to doing something you do not like or feel comfortable with. It's always good to try new things, but that doesn't mean you have to continue if it's now what you thought it would be.