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Fiction Fridays: Being a Cat

September 21, 2012


Last year I had to do a lot of creative writing in my, well, (thehehe) creative writing class. So, yeah, I wrote a LOT! I had to do a lot of writing in first person and that was killer, because I'd never done that with characters before. But it turns out I have an interestingly sarcastic/funny writing style when it comes to first person. 

This is my favorite quote about characters from my class:
“I wish we could sometimes love the characters in real life as we love the characters in romances. There are a great many human souls whom we should accept more kindly, and even appreciate more clearly, if we simply thought of them as people in a story.” ― G.K. ChestertonWhat I Saw in America

.1. Being a Cat
(Do not copy)

Being a house cat is cool, I suppose. I wouldn’t say that it’s constantly filled with epic excitement. I mean, it’s not like I am an outside cat or anything. Heck, these humans barely let me out of the house for more than a second to smell the air"most of the time I have to do that through a screened window! And boy, that doesn’t always present the most pleasurable of smells. Whew!
            However, being a house cat does have its perks, even if one of them isn’t being able to go outside. The food in this joint isn’t half bad"the human food, that is. The cat food these humans seem to think we cats like to eat tastes like crud. Actually, more like cardboard. It’s dry. These humans obviously have never tasted cat food, because they feed it to us like it’s a delicacy. I’ll tell you what a delicacy is, being able to lick off that shiny utensil they use to shovel in all the colorful, flavorful food. Compared to cardboard, a green bean tastes like Salmon!
            Okay, so a green bean doesn’t have that kind of flavor to it per se, but if you’re hungry enough for something better than a square morsel that tastes like crap, you’d think so too"that is, if you were a cat. Humans don’t know how good they really have it. They complain about how bad their food tastes to them. Shoot, so what if it’s a tad bit burnt on the bottom? I’ll take it! No need to waste all the yummy food when there’s a hungry cat"so what if I’ve already had my dinner?"who would gladly take that human food off your plate.
            Meow! Ha-ha, that’ll get them to feel pity for me. It’s always a good way to get extra treats if you know how to play on the human’s sympathies. I have this down-pat. Well, almost. Sometimes they look at me with greedy eyes and shoo me away. How rude! I don’t do that to them. I would share with them if they asked. In fact, I’d trade dishes with them if they even wanted to. Hey, I’m a cat; I never said I was an angel. I’d do anything to get what’s on their plate and not eat what’s on mine"if only that were a possibility. Eh, maybe they’ll drop something on the floor. I’ll wait. 


inspiration via rachel @ elephantine 

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1 comment

  1. lol... :D Cats are so awesome... And I always wonder who thought up cat/dog food - that stuff seems like it would just taste nasty. :P

    Love that G. K. Chesterton quote, too!

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