Tomatoes, helium, and a dose of courage
Today has been one of those odd days in where I have chattered non-stop, have the energy of a five-year-old (is there a way to bottle this? I could use it on my slow days!), and have been helping my mom can tomatoes and garden. I can't recall a time recently when I have felt, well, filled. As to what I mean by filled I am not entirely sure. I don't know if it is because I feel accomplished due to having been brave enough to can tomatoes without my mom helping, or the fact that I am able to spend time with her and help her out like I used to.
But, I think it also has to do with the fact that I have been getting serious about diving into God's Words and really trying to see what applicable truths wait to be discovered. You see, while this may be one of those various mood swings, I do not think it all for nothing. It's like I have been living a life that is the prime example of John 16:22 - "So with you: Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy." I haven't felt this happy or excited since I left Renfrew and to be this way on my own without the help of anyone but God is amazing to me. It's really encouraging to me, and through this little glimmer of amazing happiness I am able to see a small light at the end of my tunnel.
Also, today my brother, sister, and I-actually while I am currently writing this-decided that sucking on some helium filled balloons was a good source of Saturday entertainment. It was the first time my brother and myself have ever done this, so naturally we were very amused. My brother, who can already make his voice sound like he's sucked on an hours worth of helium, found it irresistible to shout out "I'm Justin Bieber!" over and over again.
My sister is hilarious with this stuff. She's like a natural comedian, so she's always got something funny to say. And her facial expressions as she was sucking the helium was so laughable. What a hoot! As for myself, my helium expedition was a flop. Like I said: first time. I ended up trying to breath in the helium, but when I talked nothing. I didn't sound squeaky at all. Oh, well! It was still a blast watching and listening to my brother. I even got it on video. =]
I found this video devotional on YouTube presented by mywomensministry. The videos they have on their channel have been a wonderful source of encouragement for me and have taught me a lot. They've also brought me step-by-step closer to God and wanting to dive in and do my own devotionals. So, it's been a wonderful tool. I thought you might like the one I have posted (below). It's amazing how she presents courage in an analogy that I can understand, as well as one that is useful.
'Grieving God's Way' = helpful, insightful, and inviting. If you haven't heard of this book before I suggest you check it out. Especially if you have recently suffered a loss.
I've only done Day One, but even with that I have began to feel differently about the loss that I have suffered. Not in any way similar is the loss of a cat to a human life, but when your heart strings are wound tightly in with an animals, like mine were with my cat, then the feelings become almost one in the same.
But the very first day was showing me that there is a time to grieve and a time to laugh, be happy, and move on. It was also helpful to see that there's a reason why I have been feeling the way I have been since my cat's death: sluggish, slow, and somewhat dazed. Obviously that's how God planned for us to grieve, so that the impact of our losses wouldn't hit us like a 2-ton boulder.
I cannot wait to see what Day Two has in store for me. I am still very much raw from the loss of my cat, but I am praying and trusting in the Lord that all things will work out for the good of His Kingdom and purpose in my life.
I rest in knowing that my cat is in Heaven adding a bit of spunk and personality to the mix. And whether I really want it to happen or not, I am slowly feeling a transition come over me that is taking me from doom and gloom into reassurance and peace. That, that is greatly needed!
Have a spectacular weekend, guys. And have fun watching the Olympics.