seven secrets to sexual purity (part two)

{Purity Dreams of Its Future}

While it is unlikely for Purity to dream of the future, it is apparent that girls do. We dream BIG. About medieval knights, elvish princesses, gruff cowboys—girly things. But there's more to us that just dreams. We hope. We plan. We make lists...I know I make lists. I have this thing about lists and I have a system. The things I want the most, need to do, looking for make it to the top, while other less urgent items sink to the bottom for a later date. 
 But one of the most important lists I think I have ever made was when I wrote my "shopping list for HIM". This does sound a bit demeaning. Why would I make a shopping list for a man? It's not necessarily a shopping list as if I'm window shopping for an available guy, but more like a character list, a list of qualities that I will be looking fervently for in a man. If he doesn't make the list, he doesn't have my heart. 

I am slowly coming into that time in my life when I will come face-to-face with guys that do not meet the criteria on my list. And while the guy may not make the cut (which doesn't mean he's a bad guy), the list does provide me with a guide as when to say yes and when to say no. This list isn't just based on what I want, but what the Bible say I should look for in my husband-to-be. And when it comes to my husband-to-be, it doesn't hurt to have a dream, a vision. 

When I see my husband to be, I see a very distinctive person who, at the moment, has no face (because haven't met him yet!). I know what I am attracted to, what draws my attention and excites my passions. And when envision him, I see:

>> a tall man who is
>> nicely tanned,
>> has a toned physique and is
>> very handsome.
>> has long or short brown hair,
>> has a good sense of style and
>> a good neck (I love guys with long, stalky necks!)

Okay...the last one isn't exactly a must have; but this is my dream, right?

Not everything about a guy is about his looks. A good looking guy may be easy on the eyes, but can be a pain if he's missing a good personality. When I envision my husband-to-be, I see someone whose personality compliments mine. And since I am more analytic, quiet and reserved, he would need to be more care-free, loud, and energetic. In addition to those, it would be nice if he came with a few of these--->

>> generous
>> kind
>> caring
>> super funny
>> loyal

His dreams are also very important. What are his future goals? Career? Wife? Kids? Hobbies? But most importantly...does he plan on living his life for God? Most importantly-while he does have his own dreams, and you have yours-both dreams need to work together. They need to be similar. 

One area of his life than needs to match your ideals, dreams, and views needs to be religion. If he isn't a Christian man, then you don't need to be messing with someone whose life is not devoted to fully living for God. Do not be unequally yoked(2 Corinthians 6:14). 

We're girls here, so I'm guessing that most of you have made a list in your journal of the qualities in a guy that you are most looking for. I know, for me, there are certain things that I am looking for most.

For one, he has to be a Christian. And his love for God must surpass his love for me. However, not only MUST he be a Christian, he has to be a spiritual leader who will lead me and others.

He must have similar viewpoints as myself, and stand up for me and others. If he’s going to let people run all over me, or he sees that I have done all I could to try and protect myself, then he needs to put on his big boy pants and protect me.

Those are the big three things that are super important to me in a guy—Christianity, Spiritual Leadership, and Similar Viewpoints. Don’t even step in the direction of dating, or, marriage unless he shares your faith, because you “run the risk of falling in love with someone you simple cannot have” (The Bride Wore White, 69).

And do I end this post with a question for you “do you want to be intellectually and spiritually superior to the man you fall in love with, or do you want to be challenged and stimulated by him forever?” (The Bride Wore White, 69).


  1. Amen, sister! These guides really help girls out, including me. Keep up the posting!


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