captivating femininity {part 2}: to be romanced

I will find you.
No matter how long, no matter how far--I will find you.
Nathaniel to Cora in The Last of The Mohicans
A woman's wounds leave her feeling vulnerable. Moreover, they leave her feeling as if she's failed life. Wounds create pain, and the pain inadvertently creates tall, impenetrable walls that even a Knight-in-Shinning-Armor wouldn't dare climb. Fact is, when a woman's heart is so closed off from further hurt and the possibility that she might actually be captivating, the only one who's brave enough to tackle the rock solid contours of her delicate-as-lace heart, is the King of Kings.

My wounds, I can honestly say, have hindered me in a great many ways; one of those areas happens to be my life in the romance department. That part of my life is, well, nonexistent. While I am not in a hurry to find a man, there is a longing deep down in my heart that wants a man (a hero) to fight for and rescue me. In my heart of hearts I desire greatly to be what Cora Munro is to Nathaniel Bumpo or, what Maid Marian is to Robin Hood or, what Eleanor Dashwood is to Edward Ferris. Although I have never felt this way myself, I love the feeling I get when these women are safe in their lovers' arms, being wanted and loved.  The truth is, I simply love the feeling of being "wanted and fought for" (Captivating 9).

The desire to be wanted and fought for is deeply rooted within the very soul of a woman. It's in the core of her existence, and part of what makes were captivatingly feminine. However, like most, we are ashamed of this intricate part of what makes us unique. To many of us, these desires are a sign of weakness—a defect. After all, we're 21th Century women, aren't we? Weakness isn't in our vocabulary; women today are "strong, independent, and capable, thank you very much," exclaims Stasi, "Uh-huh...and who is buying all those romance novels?" (Captivating 9). To put it this way, stiffing our natural desires for romance--to be rescued by an irresistibly handsome man who is captivated by our physical and inward beauty--only makes it harder for us to ignore the natural tenancies of our femininity. It's not something we can shake off, or wake up one morning and say "I am no longer going to desire romance. I'm going to be as cold as stone; an unfeeling, cruel, miserable spinster."  Yeah right; like that'll ever happen!

Come on, girls. Let’s be real here. I know from my own experiences, however small they may be (in comparison to other ladies out there who have been dragged through the mud), that it's easier to close one's self off from the rest of the world and to erect an impenetrable facade, than it is to accept what's happened, move on, and embrace the very essence of our womanhood. Now, I am not saying that we should base our existence on "whether or not [we are] being or [have] been romanced by a man", but don't you see that it is a natural part of who we are as women to desire this—to want this (Captivating 10)?

I can imagine Cora Munro felt very special knowing that Hawkeye cared wholeheartedly for her, and would die for her. In the midst of danger, he promised Cora that no matter where the Huron took her, no matter how far they went he would find her, because he was committed to keeping her safe and defending her to death. In essence, Cora got exactly what every girl dreams of-a man in pursuit, romancing her, loving her for who she is, and willing to risk his life for hers. She is worth fighting for, and that is something every girl wants to feel. 

It's something I greatly desire. Something I dream about and am mesmerized with when I watch movies with the hero saving the damsels in distress. When I watched Snow White or Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty, I was in love with the Prince. I knew that one day I was going to find myself a prince that would fight for me the same way Sleeping Beauty's prince did when slaying the wicked dragon queen. 

Not only was it exciting to watch the damsel be rescued by the handsome prince, but the real kicker was the happily-ever-after kiss in Cinderella, or the dream-come-true kiss in Snow White. As their lips collide, it's like fireworks go off in my heart, and my unrestrained desire to have a prince of my own to kiss grows exceedingly more difficult to control, even as a little girl!

I still enjoy a good romance movie now and then. I love comedic and cheesy romance movies, such as When In Rome, Letters to Juliet, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Sweet Home Alabama, How To Loose A Guy In 10 Days, 27 Dresses, Ever After, and Pretty In Pink, because they tickle my fancy and are lighthearted; and even with that, I am still allowed to get lost in the bond being formed. Although I am older now, the love that sparks between two lovers still ignites the feminine desire within my heart to be captivating, romanced, perused, and fought for. Like Staci Eldredge says, "every woman wants to be seen, wanted, and perused. We want to be romanced" (pg 10).


  1. I love this post! I really do. We all want that “perfect romance” we see in the disney movies and what-not. It’s in a women’s nature to want to feel loved and wanted, but we just can’t let it become our sole thought and dream. While we’re single, let’s enjoy it! And so if guys aren’t our sole thought, when the perfect guy comes along( perfect for us, not perfect in the other sense), we’ll know he’s the one, because we waited. I find if I’m thinking to much about romance and the perfect guy for me, I start to pray for him instead. :) I wrote a post about some of this stuff awhile back, if you’d like to check it out, here’s the link-


Post a Comment

Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. Please keep your comments clean. So, please no foul language.

Popular Posts