captivating femininity {part 1}: the heart of a woman

Tammy Wynette 
"Sometimes it's hard to be a woman."

Every woman is a wallflower with a fear to bloom. A fear to lose or a fear to win. A fear to be invisible or a fear to be noticed. A fear to be loved or a fear to go unloved. Each one of us, in our own way, has a fear of being...captivating. Doesn't that seem to contradict what God has told us about ourselves, about fear?

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Before reading Captivating, I would probably have laughed at the idea of being feminine. Me, feminine? You have to be kidding me! I hardly resemble a feminine woman. I never was one for frilly things. I hate the color pink, and can't stand to wear a skirt (much less a dress) other than when doing historical reenacting. I am by definition not a girly-girl. I squish spiders, swim in the mud (yes, I do!), and throw horse manure. I go barefoot in all kinds of weather, throughout all seasons, read books that are gross, depressing, and packed with violence (I do have a tendency to read melodramatic novels from the late 19th century); and I'd much rather listen to pop-rock, techno, or 80s music than a good classical soundtrack. 

On the flip side, there are parts of me that, not matter how hard I try to put it on the back burner--the core of who I am and who God created me to be--my femininity can't help but shine through. I love dolls (I am 16 American Girl dolls); I crochet, embroider; I love to braid my hair, and take showers and smell divine (I have six different perfumes and body washes). Sewing and writing have always been a passion of mine; and I do a LOT of dreaming, laughing and smiling, singing to the top of my lungs, and twirling. I am loyal to the umpteenth degree, passionate, overly sensitive, and very, very stubborn!

But, as I look at all these things I have listed, these are  characteristics of a feminine woman. These things are the things that make me uniquely feminine. It's my identity; and my own femininity in Christ allows me to be in a category all my own. I don't have to be one or the other. I can be a girl who likes loud rock music and a girl who twirls and longs to be admired. However confident I am in knowing that I can have my cake and eat it too, I am like all women. My heart has been broken and dragged through the mud. It's pulsating blood from old wounds that have failed to heal. 
I remember when I was young asking myself as well as older females in my life how a woman of God could actually be confident, scandalous and beautiful, yet not portray herself as a feminist Nazi or an insecure I-need-attention emotional whore. How can I become a strong woman without becoming harsh? How can I be vulnerable without drowning myself in sorrow? (Captivating 5)
There is more to a woman than meets the eye. More to her life than tending to her house and children, putting food on the table, and being a helpmate to her husband. A woman is also a princess, "valiant and strong" (Captivating 3). But how can she be all this when she is struggling to mend a broken heart and is so closed-off, a shell put up around her person to guard her shredded heart?

While it's not all that simple, being able to be vulnerable and strong without overdoing it or while your heart is still very much bleeding, there is only one remedy. That remedy, of course, is knowing that "God created you [and I] as a woman" (Captivating 8). 

Genesis 1:27
"God created man in his own image...male and female."

Ladies, there is no doubt in my mind that we were created for more than what we believe we were put here on this earth to do. Whatever it means to bare the image of God, Stasi Elderedge author of Captivating says that we bear God's image as a woman. Not only were we physically created in the image of God, but "[our] feminine heart[s]," she says, "[have] been created with the greatest of all possible dignities--as a reflection of God's own heart" (8). 

Whoa. Talk about an eye opener. Our hearts, that's where it all starts; and it started with God who designed us to reflect a side of Him that no one else could do as good as a woman. So what is a woman, and what is it that her heart longs for? For one, a woman is captivating because of the great purpose she was made for. Secondly, a woman is the very essence of God (we'll get to this later). And thirdly, knowing that her heart is a reflection of God's self is only the beginning of her journey to discovering what it truly means to be a woman. As for the desires of a woman's heart; Stasi Eldredge mentions that there are three things: "to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty" (8). We are women of mystery. A grand and glorious mystery.

Captivating - Disc 1 by John & Stasi Eldredge on Grooveshark

>> 2012 Affirmation: Never give up for that is just the time and place the tide will turn.

>> one thousand gifts:
  1. fleece socks
  2. the little things in life
  3. exhilarating movie soundtracks

*Find introduction, go to A Feminine Introduction.


  1. This is so beautiful . I love it. Thank you for sharing :)

  2. Interesting post! Really something to think about!


  3. you have such gift with words! thank you for sharing your thoughts,
    may God bless you!


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