Listening to: Sleigh Ride-Any Grant
Quote: Grandma (Esther) Walton: Rise and shine, you two!
Jason Walton: I'll rise, but I sure won't shine.
The Lord has been ever so good to me this semester of college. It's not my first rodeo, but it sure did feel like it! I felt like a fish out of water this semester it wasn't even funny.
It was my first time taking a class on campus. A photography class at that, too! Stressful. And then I had African American History and Creative Writing.
I know I aced all three classes, but I can't help but feel anxious, on-edge, and very much ready to collapse. The weight of this semester is going to come crashing down on top of me tomorrow, and I'm not sure I can handle that.
However, with ever fiber of my being, and the help of God, I must cleave to these words (or I am a dead girl!):
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." [Philippians 4:6]No anxiety. No worry. No fear. No hesitation.
That Wednesday when school let out, my mom and I went to see a counselor. She was very blunt, and informative. But I was so thrilled to have someone be so forceful in saying that Bulimia "is no joke". And boy do I know that!
So before the counselor can help my any further, I need to go get some intensive help. Hence the reason why I am going to be visiting (or rather my counselor suggested we go see) a psychologist, in the hopes of being put on some anxiety meds for short-terms reasons. (To help me deal with one thing at a time without wigging out!).
I am all for whatever needs to be done to save my life.
"For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it." [(Matthew 16:25]Also, this Wednesday I am going to visit Renfrew in Franklin, TN. A home for girls with various ED. My counselor says that I may need to stay there for at least 2-3 weeks minimum. I am a little scared about that, but with all these tools God is sending my way, it's hard to deny God His right to send healing my way....regardless if I deserve such a gift or not. I will take what He sees fit to give me, and in return I will continue to put my faith and trust in Him.
I am optimistic this Christmas season. Do not pity me or fret for me, for I am being taken care of by the Great Physician. I only ask for your prayers that by this time next year, I will be able to proudly state that "I beat Bulimia".
I will. I will. I will!
I hope you all have a marvelous, magical Christmas, my lovelies. 'Tis the season to be jolly, so stand up straight, walk proudly, and share with everyone you meet a kind word, simple gesture, or a huge Merry-Christmas-Jesus-Loves-You smile!