I have mentioned that I have been in a bit of a relapse rut lately. But things are looking up; I praise God for that! I continually have to stop myself and ask myself "Do I want to get well?" or "Would I rather live this way forever, miserable and sick?"
It's a choice I am reminded of daily by my parents, and brother and sister. It's a decision regardless of whether or not I'm out of it or not. The flush of the toilet, and what I do in the amount of time it takes for the potty water to go down the drain ultimately stands between me and living whole again.
Before I even touch the handle of the toilet, my dad told me that this question should always come to my mind (and I try to repeat this question with every flush of the toilet I make): "What is it I want-to stay in this rut with the possibility that I may not live to graduate from college, or get married, or have kids, or die old and gray? Or do I want to live badly enough that I'm willing to do whatever it takes to beat Bulimia?"
Without a shout of doubt, God is working in my life to better His kingdom. He's blessing me; showing me the wonders of His marvelous hands, trying to grab my attention so that this little lost sheep might come back to her Father.
Today I cling to this verse, in which I have found a great deal of comfort and joy:
"For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” [Luke 19:10].
And every second of every waking moment, God is reminding me who I am. He's also showing me who I am supposed to be: a spunky, energetic, faithful servant who is loyal, just, kind, and above all, a daughter of Heaven.
Which brings me to one of today's favorite musical numbers by Jason Gray titled Remind Me Who I Am.