no reason to worry

October 17, 2011


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."—Philippians 4:6-7  
***
Lately, the world appeared to be flying at my head with gale force winds. Emotions I had inadvertently disposed to the back of my mind had escaped, and were maliciously avenging their captivity with their raiser sharp teeth and spiny, seaweed-like tentacles. 
 With my legs wrapped tightly by their suction cupped tentacles, I am forced to fight, while being pulled ruthlessly to the bottom of the ocean. Up above, to my right, is a ship with glistening white sails and silver rails. I swim frantically, still being pulled under by my adversary, towards the ship in search of solitude, safety, and peace. Upon arriving at the ship, I am faced with the decision as to whether or not I will board the ship: deny the spiny tentacles power over me, or surrender to their strikingly horrific power. I don't want to drown. But, I'm emotionally and physically exhausted by the swim and the fight, that giving up seems nice. 
Yet, just as I am about to surrender, someone jumps in after me and, without hesitation, reaches out to me and grabs hold of my arm. It's strong. And I feel safe. Now I don't have to fight a losing battle on my own. At present, there is hope and an instant ambiance of peaceful bliss and security. 
God is a merciful, loving, bold God. He's that hero that brings peace, while taking upon his shoulder the burdens of my weary soul and wounded heart. Oh, those suction formed tentacles! How they pursue me! They constantly plague me, causing me grief, unrest, and a bout of indigestion. The evil that tags along with the spindly suction-cupped twigs appear to be a dark, hopeless, insensitive tidal wave. I must get away! 
While God is still having to rescue me from those spiny tentacles that threaten to drag my under the relentless waves of the ocean, He is one thing I will not fight. Letting Him hold me in the palm of His hands, sweep me off my feet, and pull me to safety, has been the best decision I have ever made. I'm still thinking that after all the times He's looked out for me and will evidently save me again.  
It may not make any sense-all sorts of emotions and thoughts are swarming imperviously around in my head-but to me, the love and grace God has revealed to my has been utmost comforting to me in my trials. Which brings me to the very reason for the title of my post: to find peace and happiness, we all must first travel (sometimes multiple times) through the wilderness. Many wandering aimlessly for days until reaching the promised land, or gain that peace and happiness we are all in need of and only God can provide.

Do not be anxious about anything

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."—Philippians 4:6-7  
***
Lately, the world appeared to be flying at my head with gale force winds. Emotions I had inadvertently disposed to the back of my mind had escaped, and were maliciously avenging their captivity with their raiser sharp teeth and spiny, seaweed-like tentacles. 
 With my legs wrapped tightly by their suction cupped tentacles, I am forced to fight, while being pulled ruthlessly to the bottom of the ocean. Up above, to my right, is a ship with glistening white sails and silver rails. I swim frantically, still being pulled under by my adversary, towards the ship in search of solitude, safety, and peace. Upon arriving at the ship, I am faced with the decision as to whether or not I will board the ship: deny the spiny tentacles power over me, or surrender to their strikingly horrific power. I don't want to drown. But, I'm emotionally and physically exhausted by the swim and the fight, that giving up seems nice. 
Yet, just as I am about to surrender, someone jumps in after me and, without hesitation, reaches out to me and grabs hold of my arm. It's strong. And I feel safe. Now I don't have to fight a losing battle on my own. At present, there is hope and an instant ambiance of peaceful bliss and security. 
God is a merciful, loving, bold God. He's that hero that brings peace, while taking upon his shoulder the burdens of my weary soul and wounded heart. Oh, those suction formed tentacles! How they pursue me! They constantly plague me, causing me grief, unrest, and a bout of indigestion. The evil that tags along with the spindly suction-cupped twigs appear to be a dark, hopeless, insensitive tidal wave. I must get away! 
While God is still having to rescue me from those spiny tentacles that threaten to drag my under the relentless waves of the ocean, He is one thing I will not fight. Letting Him hold me in the palm of His hands, sweep me off my feet, and pull me to safety, has been the best decision I have ever made. I'm still thinking that after all the times He's looked out for me and will evidently save me again.  
It may not make any sense-all sorts of emotions and thoughts are swarming imperviously around in my head-but to me, the love and grace God has revealed to my has been utmost comforting to me in my trials. Which brings me to the very reason for the title of my post: to find peace and happiness, we all must first travel (sometimes multiple times) through the wilderness. Many wandering aimlessly for days until reaching the promised land, or gain that peace and happiness we are all in need of and only God can provide.

by grace you have been saved

October 15, 2011



“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—”Ephesians 2: 8 (NIV)

            So often I find myself working to prove to Christ that what I am doing for him deserves his validation and recognition; and that is shows him that I am a hard working Christian. But is that what being a Christian is all about—proving to him that I deserve to be a Christian and under his good graces? I already have grace, because I was saved through faith. And yet, I find it intriguing that I should have the free gift of God’s grace, and still try to earn it by working.
            However, it’s almost a waited effort, because God doesn’t ask for my works to repay Him for the sacrifice He freely gave to me. Instead, all he wants is my undivided attention and my heart. And that I can freely give, because it’s all I have to offer such a High King—the King of Kings that has flooded my heart with a Living Water so sweet, it takes my breath away.

Take my whole heart, is my whisper, my plea, my song.



Paperdoll: noun          
1.      A paper or cardboard, usually two-dimensional, representation of the human figure, used as a child’s toy.
2.      Usually, paperdolls. A connected series of doll-like figures cut from folded paper.

            I feel like a paper doll, all flimsy and two-dimensional. There’s no substance to who I am. I feel flat and paper-like, striving for perfection but always coming up short, exhausted and repulsed by my inability to attain that level of perfection that I’ve lived most of my life for.
            I am still waiting for my paper heart to come alive. I want it to grow six sized too big, become three-dimensional, and beat for a purpose fashioned by God, rather for perfection.  I want God to take this paperdoll heart of mine and transform it into something beautiful, so I can stop being this paperdoll that I completely despise.
            You want to know one thing about paper dolls that I don’t like? Well, it’s that they’re flimsy! You can’t dress one of those flat, paper pictures of perfection—all perfection in only skin deep. In a paper doll’s case, it’s only ink deep—because you risk tearing a hand, leg, or head off.
            I don’t want to be like that—fragile with no backbone; no structure—, because I don’t want to have a paper heart that God cannot penetrate through. I want a heart that he can fill with His love, so that I can be that jar of clay bringing Living Water to the rest of the world. And He cannot do that if I am not willing to let my paper heart come alive with His grace and mercy.
            This is my hope, that God will break my heart and rip away the earthly desired of my heart and replace them with a God-divined purpose to set fire to the world. And as Natalie Lloyd writes, there is only “One who sees my paper heart, every frayed corner, all the rips and tears I’ve tried to tape back together […] He holds out His hand, offers to keep it, to heal it, and to make it whole again. He writes love and grace over every seam. Take my whole heart, is my whisper, my plea, my song. Take all of me.”

October 7, 2011


"Each experience is a stepping stone in life, including any so-called mistakes. I love myself for all my mistakes and missteps. They have been very valuable to me. They have taught me many things. It is the way I learn. I am willing to stop punishing myself for my mistakes. Instead, I love myself for my willingness to learn and grow"

" I am neither too much nor too little. I do not have to prove to anyone or anything who I am. I have been many identities, each one a perfect expression for that particular lifetime. I am content to be who and what I am this time. I do not yearn to be like someone else, for that is not the expression I chose at this time. Next time, I will be different. I am perfect as I am, right now. I am sufficient. I am one with all of life. There is no need to struggle to be better. All I need to do is love myself more today than yesterday, and to treat myself more as someone who is deeply loved. With joy, I recognize my perfection and perfection of life"

October 5, 2011

“A beautiful woman is a practical poet, taming her savage mate, planting tenderness, hope and eloquence in all whom she approaches.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, U.S. essayist, poet, philosopher. “Beauty,” The Conduct of Life (1860).