Do Not Merely Exist BLESSED SINGLENESS + FORSAKING IT ALL SAIL THE HIGH SEAS + BIBLE MAN ARMOR

Tea Anyone?

April 29, 2011

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude. Thomas Jefferson
Life has no smooth road for any of us; and in the bracing atmosphere of a high aim the very roughness stimulates the climber to steadier steps, till the legend, over steep ways to the stars, fulfills itself. W. C. Doane
Do not follow where the path may lead.
Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.
Harold R. McAlindon
t was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, "Always do what you are afraid to do." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Emily....

April 27, 2011

I was over at Emii's blog Girlz 4 God (head over there, it's a fantastic blog *wink*), and was struck by how cool her newest post was. It was a youtube (you'll see!) video of Francesca Battistelli's newest songs called...can you guess?....EMILY (IT'S LOVE).

Jealous? Don't be, because this song can apply to you all. Just replace my name with yours. :)

Anyhow, this song seems like it was written directly to me. It's kind of like Francesca knew I needed a song of encouragement. How cool is it to hear your name in a song?!
 
Thanks Emii for the awesome post, hope you don't mind if I stole your idea. It was just to cool to pass up!!

Light for the Way

April 23, 2011



Just a little pick me up for this Saturday Morning! Isn't God completely marvelous? What a Loving Father!

Living Intolerably Defined

April 20, 2011

I am living intolerably defined by sensitivities to gluten and dairy. Yes, I suffer dearly the consequences of eating dairy and gluten. But, I am learning to make the best of what Christ has in store for me. Not that He wants me to suffer the difficulties of being intolerant to two main food groups of the American diet, but I'd like think that He placed this upon me to show me His greatness, and to teach me patience and faith. 
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future'" (Jeremiah 29:11).
I haven't been officially diagnosed with Celiac Disease (a digestive disease that damages the small intestine), though I, in some way, believe this is what I have been living with for a while now. I have, however, been diagnosed as Lactose Intolerant (LS). LS has impacted my life greatly by prohibiting my intake of many of the normal daily foods (as does my gluten intolerance) I would usually have. I do miss the creamy, soul satisfying taste of that all too familiar cow's milk, butter and cheese, but giving that up is worth so much more in comparison to suffering needlessly.

Turning 13 marked the age of my journey into the land of Gluten Free (GF) and Dairy Free (DF). At the time, I did not know what my body was trying to tell me, for I was oblivious to the incomprehensible (as it was at the time) idea that anyone could be allergic to bread and milk! Who couldn't tolerate milk and bread? I was clueless to the world that would all-too-soon become my own. 


I didn't think much about the changes to my digestion that was occurring during my early teen years. I just thought it was due to the fact that I had shot up like a weed and because of that, my food wasn't settling as well. Stress, I thought, was another factor. But, at the age of 13, 14, and 15, no one goes through extremely stressful situations. (I am the exception, surely.) 


At a Christmas party, hosted by my grandma, I had the pleasure of experiencing first hand the overpowering, stabbing pains of a severe food intolerance. I thought at first I had overeaten, but then all I had were a small plate of BBQ Weenies and Mac&Cheese. I came home later that night, in such pain, that I cried to my mom for help! Sounds silly, I know. However, my mom had been convinced for a while (after listening and observing), that something was amiss with my digestion....


And there, my GF and DF journey began.


Years down the road, this issue I had with food (which was turning out to be more complicated than I would have ever dreamed of-being allergic and unable to tolerate a lot of foods) grew stronger and more powerful. I had gone from being a chubby preteen to a lean, half-starved teen whose only choice to avoid the pain was to eat less that what my body required. And this was all before the age of 16! I went from 180 to 140 in about 3 months. Good for mu figure, bad for my body.


I have been to countless Doctors trying to get an answer for my undiagnosed illness. The answer? IBS, a touch of Acid Reflux, and maybe, they weren't sure, even an Ulcer. None of which were the reason for my stomach constantly causing me pain. So much for ever finding a cure, or at least knowing what was the cause for such discomfort, I thought to myself. So much was going on in my culinary world. So much was going on. While my parents were as dumbfound as I was about what the cause of my strange illness was, my dad was obviously right about one thing, as he quoted Matthew 4:4: 
"'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"
 A Kodak moment! And yet, he spoke the truth, and I was learning it first hand.

It's been a roller-coaster ride of emotions. It seems to never come to an end! One minute we think we've cracked the code, and the next, are back to square one. This food intolerance continues to this day, although my mom and I believe we are on the right track to finding permanent relief.


About 3 years ago my mom and I stumbled upon the idea of going to see a Chiropractor for my problems. Bingo, we got our first piece to the puzzle. N.A.E.T (Allergy Elimination Techniques). This has been very helpful in eliminating and understanding my body, as well as food allergies and the digestive system. It all seems like voodoo, but it's amazing at how much of a difference I was able to notice. Since then, we've been sold of the idea of going to the Chiropractor instead of the Doctor, especially when he believes in natural remedies!


In between traveling to different Chiropractors and Specialists, I developed another issue. On top of dealing with the Gluten and Dairy intolerance side of life, I was going through some tough times of my own; these were personal problems from my past that had spurred it's ugly head. 


Unfortunately, this N.A.E.T Chiropractor wasn't completely solving the problem. I was still experiencing digestive issues. Bummer. So, keeping with the Chiropractor, we moved on to another Doctor that we hoped would help. Asa Andrewsto help. We quit him and went back to the other guy.


Shortly after doing that we were given a lead to another Chiropractor by the name of Steven Duensing. Double Bingo! I had hit the jackpot! He's told my mom and myself a lot about what has been causing my problems, and he's also helping me with my other issue, too. Dr. Duensing is a Nutritionist, as well as a Chiropractor and a Kinesiologist. Right now, while also working towards an all Gluten Free and Diary Free dies, this Doctor has got me on a protein diet because of my body type. This is to not only give me more energy throughout the day, but to get my weight back to a healthy level. Believe me, 120LBS isn't healthy or a natural weight for me.


Aside from all the Doctor business, I am still in the midst of this undesirable food predicament, however, I am learning to eat and live intolerably defined (Gluten and Dairy free, that is). It's a road traveled heavily by others, and I, exasperated and willing, join this adventure. I want this journey to be a documentation of my recovery, better health, peace, and happiness, as well as my adventures into the world of Gluten Free baking and cooking. Lord only knows what surprises await me on the other side of the fence. This is where He's leading me, thought, so I will follow, and with a quivering faith and a tendency to doubt, I will truth in Him to bring about a positive ending to my long, daunting, excruciating adventure.

What love is this?

April 18, 2011

At Church the other day, the choir jammed out to some inspirational, uplifting, have-a-hallelujah-good-time music. It was Palm Sunday, as you all know, and celebration of what Christ did for us on the Cross was in full swing.

The whole service (all praise music) was done beautifully by our new choir director. The songs were a composition of some new songs I'd never heard, and others that always give me chills. They weren't the usual Sunday morning songs that cause some to sob, raise their hands in surrender, etc. (Even though they've heard the song for the umpteenth time).

These songs were actually spell binding. Each was accompanied by readings from the Bible. They correlated beautifully with each other-song and the very chilling pictorial of Christ as he prayed with his sleepy Disciples before being betrayed by Judas.

Not very often do we get treated to a magnificent celebration of what Christ has done for us sinners here on earth. We go to Church to learn about all that, but it never seems to be a celebration; it strikes me to be more like a funeral.

While sitting in my chair, listening to this powerful music as it blasted me in the face at full force, there it began-the realization of just how much Christ had surrendered for me.

Sure, all that music gets you pretty worked up, especially when it's up beat and fluctuates between low and high tempo. Normally, songs don't do that to me, unless I feel a connection to them. However, there was one song our Choir sang on Palm Sunday that resonated deeply within me. And there, listening to the words, sang my soul...
"What love is this? That you lay down your life for me that I might live, that I might live. Your grace so free, you gave me life eternally, all I am is yours."
Yes, Lord. All I am is yours! Hearing this song and even reading the words, gives me chills. What Love is this? As if it were some foreign concept we ask this question. What Love is this? Christ, the one God sent to save us, is the love we ask about. His love surpasses all knowledge and understanding.


As humans, we cannot grasp the concept of what it is to love like Christ. Therefore, we have a hard time accepting the fact that God would give up His only son (John 3:16) to die for the world. That You lay down Your life for me that I might live, that I might live.


Your grace so free, You gave me life eternally, all I am is Yours. Just as God gave us eternal life, he gave us a wonderful gift, called Grace. We don't have to work in order to secure our salvation or place in heaven. By confessing Christ as lord and acknowledging it in our hearts, we will be saved eternally. Nothing can ever strip us of our salvation. Once a child of Christ, always a child of Christ.

All I am is Yours, God. You gave Your life for me that I might have life. I was once lost, but know I am found. Blind, but now I see. You gave me Grace and forgiveness, mercy and love. You could have forsaken me, and yet, You laid down Your life for me, a sinner in the worst sense of the word. What Love is this Lord, that You would do that for me? This love, it's overflowing, thirst quenching, uplifting, energising! I am truly in awe of Your Majesty.... Thank You!

It Takes a Certain Courage to...

April 14, 2011

Gobble down some candy...
Stuff yourself with sweets!
Look in the bright side.
 Be positive.
 Enjoy life.
  Love and be yourself.
Dance in the rain.
Eat syrup drenched waffles.
  Play in the mud.
 Sing at the top of your lungs.
Watch Disney Movies.
Play pretend.
Walk on water.
Eat gummy worms.
 Live life. 
 Savor the moment.
Accept things with a grain of salt.
 Be beautiful.
 Share Christ.
Speak the truth.
Act goofy.
Jump wildly.
Hope for the best.
    Dream.
Be happy.

My List

April 13, 2011

Okay, here's my list! This is a list of all the qualities I want in my future husband, qualities I pray for everyday. Now, these qualities may or may not be what God has planned, but I trust that I will meet a man with a few admirable qualities that will please God and be a blessing to me.



Good Humored--has a funny personality and isn't afraid to laugh at himself.


Humble--enough to admit that he doesn't know every thing.


Self confident and Secure--in himself and his own knowledge, and yet, will seek the advice and counsel from his wife.


Hard Working--determined to do whatever it takes to provide for his family.


A Good Listener-- listens with his ears, eyes, heart and mind.


Handy--able to fix whatever needs to be fixed.


Honest--tells the truth and doesn't try to hide anything...whether it hurts or not.


Adventurous/fun-loving--someone who is free-spirited and enjoys life.


Faithful--someone who will be committed to his family and to God.


Brave/Protective--a man who would fight and lay his life down for his wife.


Passionate--not just for his wife, but also for God.


Thoughtful--a man who thinks before he acts or speaks.


A Godly, Christian Man--someone who is fully committed to God and loves God more than himself or his wife.


Now for the physical side! I want my man to be handsome...preferably tall, dark, handsome and strong; but I will love the man God chooses for me wholeheartedly, whether he is blond, short or average.

Hello There Sunshine

How's it going? Haven't seen ya in a while and, well, it's SO GOOD to see you. I've really missed you. 
 Those warm rays, calming breezes, and the smell of Lilac bushes make my body ache just waiting for you, my dear sunshine, to poke your head through the clouds! 
 Won't you stay a while, PLEASE? I am lonely without you. It's so gloomy without your bright, cheery disposition to make the day positive and happy.
 Please stay. I want you to stay. Don't leave any time soon. Please?

Love,
Me

Modest Swimwear

April 12, 2011

I don't know about you, but the one thing I hate about the spring and summer months are the atrocious clothing choices teens choose to wear, especially the bathing suits, short-shorts, and interestingly showy tank-tops, and t-shorts.

I'm not trying to condemn anyone for dressing immodestly. But, come on, its just tacky to wear floozy clothes.

Just me?

I am sure you all could agree. It's not easy watching girls walk around thinking they're HOT with things that should be covered POPPING out and oozing over. Swimwear happens to my one of my pet peeves.

I hate going to the pool, or even to the beach because, to be honest, there are MANY girls who should cover up and not flaunt what they have. That is, because, well, they either have a whole lot more than they need, or they don't have much at all....

Try and understand me here, if that's possible, because I feel I'm rambling on! Anyhow...I am all for looking pretty and stylish while swimming, BUT, I despise bikinis, high-cut swim suits, etc., and cannot stand the sight of girls who would rather show an extreme amount of skin (which is quite detracting to guys), rather than dress modestly and appropriately.

In my opinion, swimwear has become a contest to see who can wear the skimpiest swim suit and show the most leg.
Well, if you're like me and would rather cover up and avoid looking like a total slut (pardon phrase), check out these awesome sites for modest swimwear (below):

Be easy about it.

April 11, 2011


Be easy about it. Don't rush into things. Savor them more. Make more plans and be more deliberate and specific about the plans that you are making, and in all that you do, let your dominant intent be to find that which pleasures you as you imagine it. Let your desire for pleasure, your desire for feeling good, be your only guiding light. As you seek those thoughts that feel good, you will always be in vibrational harmony with the Energy that is your Source. And under those conditions, only good can come to you, and only good can come from you. -Abraham Hicks

Boho Craze

April 8, 2011

I am suspecting that this Boho style must be a trend. Call me what you want, but I am not all that into fashion, so I may be way behind in noticing this. However, I have fallen in love with this eclectic, mellow fashion statement that kinda resembles my own flair for creativity and style. Kinda.
without heels anymore
Okay, maybe it doesn't at all. Being hopeful! Sad to say, but my style is all over the place. It's usually pretty constant, in that I don't change it very often. It so happens that my style is a reflection of how I feel about myself (Ohmigosh, what a surprise!), and it, unfortunately, tells a story of my insecurities and lack of self-confidence. I hide behind my clothes, hoping not to be noticed. Baggy shirts (three sizes to big), baggy pants, holes, rips, stains and tears. You'll find it all.
Boho Girl
I don't really care what I look like. But, I suppose it all stems from the fact that I am not as comfortable with who I am. I have been coming to terms with that. Amazing how God uses simple moments to grab your attention. :)

boho always in style
Anyhow, I know what I like. I do? Yeah, however, it rarely ever shows. I usually settle for less that what I deserve, or capable of looking better than my normal best. And this year I am going to make an attempt to look more presentable and take care of myself: hair, make-up, clothes, etc. I think it would help me feel better about myself. What we wear says a lot about who we are and how we feel. And well, I don't like the way my clothes reflect who I am. They speak falsely about who I am. They reflect the truth, but I think that I need to change how I look, so that maybe, just maybe, I'll begin to feel more positive about myself. More Pretty.
Missing the boho life...
I'm leaning towards the Hippie/Boho look. Always have been a "Flower Child" of sorts. I love my tie-dye, but I want my style to be more polished and put together (as far as Boho goes...at least looking like I put some thought into it). So, I'm going to call my NEW style: Mellow-Boho. Lamo, I know. It works though, you have to admit!

All You Need Is Love
I like the more angelic, flower child look. White and lacy. Now, I'm guessing vintage is the best way to go with this whole Boho look. if so, that's great! And because of that, I can really do this look up right. Lots of jewelry (vintage), sandals, vests, peasant blouses, jeans, shorts, scarfs, bags, dresses, etc. It's a little out of my comfort zone, truly. I am kinda apprehensive about this, because I am not sure which direction I should take. I also really don't know if I am heading in the right direction in regards to the Boho style. Is there any set rules or is it open to creative interpretation? 

Boho chic


As you can tell, I am a style failure. I don't pay much attention to any of that stuff. Yet, now I think it's time to take a step out of my bubble and do something different, yet still very much comfortable to me. 
Boho Girl
Any help or advice on how to get started would be great. I have done some research, but it doesn't help me much. What I really need is someone who knows style and is very familiar with this whole Boho look. Anyway, this is the direction I am going to take this year of 2011. I am optimistic and really looking forward to making a change that I hope with brighten my outlook. This, I hope, will be an easy change. Trying to figure out what's the problem with my stomach, well, that's another story. :)

Are You There God? It's Me, Emily

April 5, 2011

I've been going through some really rough stuff lately. Well, actually for the past year and a half. During that time (even now) I felt like I've been stranded at sea, tossed relentlessly by the waves. 

Who did this to me? What was I doing in the ocean? When did this happen-did my boat sink? Where was I and how long had I been out there? Hours? Days? How did I get in this situation? Where had my safe harbor disappeared to? 

Was I to die alone? Who would remember me after I was gone? How would they remember me? As the girl who was lost at sea, drowned in her miseries; hopeless and faithless; struggling to survive and keep her head above water?

Ships as tall as skyscrapers passed by me. They didn't hear my cries for help. My silent, desperate cries for rescue, for a Savior. They passed by me without ever thinking twice about who might be lost at sea. They left me. Alone and tired, cold, wet, and scared, and drowning. 

With no inkling of help coming my way, I continued to float helplessly in the waves. I was gasping fearfully for breath. The water was tussling me around; there was barely enough time to get air before I was dragged under the waves again.

I needed air! I was drowning. Drowning under the pressure of the mighty ocean. 

Was I to float there, tossed violently by the waves, only to succumb to my doom with little hope of being rescued? What would get to me first? The sun? Starvation? Thirst? Sharks? Lack of air? The odds were stacked against me, and I began to loose hope that I would be rescued, let alone live another day.

My last resort?

What was I to do? If I stayed where I was, I would die for sure. But, if I swam, exhaustion would surly finish me off.

And so, I began to pray. While the ocean spat at me nasty curses. Taunting me it did as its salty sprites of foam crashed into my face. It stung, but I dare not budge. I continued to pray. The sea laughed at my misery and seemed to enjoy my pain. It smiled. I frowned.

But, I continued to pray.

Surly there was a merciful God who cared! There must be a God whose love went beyond loving those who were safe and good. I was for certain that God was the kind of God who was loving, caring, fair, just, and merciful. The kind of God who cared enough and loved me enough to answer my prayers....

Would he answer them? Would he hear me over the roar of these mighty waves? Would be even see me floating in the vastness of the big blue wilderness? Did he even care if I lived?

He had too! Oh, he just had too!

But, why would he care to save a sinner like me, anyhow? It wouldn't be a total loss if I were to drown-one less sinner, right? 
What would it matter?

Yet, as I was rocked back and forth by the waves, God choose to do something my hopes, prayers, and faith had told me wasn't possible. What I thought was a lost hope, had become a reality. There in the midst of the vast ocean, a Steam Liner appeared. My save haven! 

God had chosen to shed his grace and mercy on me-a sinner. And yet, he loved me enough to save me from my hurt, pain, and hopelessness. 

I was saved from more than just the waves. I was saved by more than by His grace, but by His blood.

He really did love me!
"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me" (Psalm 50:15).
"The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth" (Psalm 145:18).
"'Have faith in God,' Jesus answered. 'I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go, throw yourself into the sea," and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins'" (Mark 11:22-25).

Often pray that God will give me healing, strength, and an answer to my stomach pain. Sometimes, however, I do not understand His reasoning, or why he wishes to answer my prayers so slowly.

But, there has to be a reason for the way God works. He's not on my time, but does what He wishes according to His time and what he knows is best for us.

I'll never understand it, but I know that while I wait for Him to give me answers and healing, I will Love him, NO MATTER WHAT!

Trails and tribulations are never without a life lesson to learn. A lesson we could accept and allow it to help us in the future, or deny and consequently have to relearn again. 
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer"(Romans 12:12 ).
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds" (James 1:2).
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you" (1 Peter 4:12 ).

God is teaching me so much more about Him that I could ever have wished to learn by going to Church and reading the Bible. Because, without having to put what I've learned into practice, I can never apply it successfully to my life and the struggles I am facing. 

God has been teaching me things that I have always thought I was good on; faith being a major one. I used to think that I was pretty faithful. I relied on God when times were good. And yet, when I was faced with this six year struggle with food complications, my faith was severely tested. Tested to it's ultimate limit. The breaking point was just around the corner. I wondered if I would remain faithful through the toughest of storms. 

It hasn't been easy. Uh, hardly! Truthfully, it's been one of the hardest things I have EVER had to do-keep the faith, even though times seem bleak and things seem to be spiraling out of control. But, that is one of the lessons He's been challenging me with. Can I keep the faith when life gets tough? Or will I give up everything because I can't see the end in sight?

So, I've learned this: No matter what, I will love Him, because He knows what I need. And even though I don't think He's EVER going to answer my prayers, He will. In due time. 
"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord, is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation" (Isaiah 12:2).
"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them" (Psalm 145: 18-19).
"Those of steadfast mind you keep in peace—because they trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for in the Lord God you have an everlasting rock" (Isaiah 26: 3-4).

In fact, just recently, God has showed me just how Powerful and Mighty He really is.

Moment after moment seems a long time to me, waiting on God to answer prayers I think are so simple, they would only take a moment to do. Sometimes, I think that He is enjoying the visual spectacle of my pain (slushy-soda hat on, popcorn bucket in hand, and foam finger waggling away), while I struggle to figure life out on my own.

Not so! Oh, on the contrary. Even though he works on His own time, He does prevail. He does answer prayers, no matter how trifle they may seem at the time. 
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus" (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18). 
"And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it" (John 14:13-14). 
He gave me a big glimpse of his Majesty and Mercy just yesterday. 

While He's been answering my prayers in the most unlikely of ways-small ways, too-God really revealed His love for me yesterday at the Doctors. 

I never would have thought that an answer to my prayer would have been in the form of Chiropractors. You might think this totally strange, but the things they have done to me, you'd probably consider voodoo. It's not. It's a miracle. A God send! And well, it works.

Although my road to recovery and understanding of the reasons for my stomach pain is far from over, God is guiding me. He is healing me from the inside out. All I have to do is have faith

He's healing! Hallelujah! He's saving me. 

Lord, 
From my darkness, You have given me light-a shinning beacon on a desolate hill. I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made. When times get rolling, I'll praise You! And when times seem bleak and the world seems to be crashing down around me, I will praise You. No matter what, I will love You. You are my Deliverer, my Rock. I ask that You give me the strength to face each day with abiding joy and faith that moves mountains. You are good, Lord! Truly, You are an awesome God!

Amen

Eat Your Peas!

April 4, 2011

This sweet little gift book for your Mom said everything that we have grown to learn as an adult, but haven't told our Moms. As kids we do not realize how smart, loving, kind, and amazing our moms are. However, as adults, or young adults, we can look back and see where we took this wonderful woman for granted. 

It is a quick read, with beautiful illustrations and really lovely pages. It is a must for anyone who needs to tell their mom how much they love them! :)

True Love Waits Journal

April 1, 2011

You know how a lot of girls take to the habit of writing in a journal or diary their secrets, dreams, fantasies and deepest desires? Well, it's only been a practice for, like, forever!


And do you know how they make you write a letter to your future spouse in the True Love Waits programs at church? Well, at my church we have one every other year, and it's a popular event. Each year it just a little different, but it's always fun!


So, on the last day of the True Love Waits session, they have us write letters. Nothing fancy. Jjust something simple, sweet-a statement of our promise and commitment. I wrote one one while I attended back in 2007. That was a while back, but it's still in the gift box. Never been opened. Other than by myself.


I like to take a peek every once in a while to refresh myself on the vow that I have made and signed on paper.


After True Love Waits, I got to thinking. Why not combine the classy, blissfulness of the journal and the romantic, sincerity of the True Love Waits letter? I tried writing a letter everyday for a whole year--like Noah did in the Notebook.


But did that happen? Nope!


I decided that everyday was hard to keep up with, and the things in the letters sounded more and more like a pity party than the I Love You letters I was intending them to be. I write occasionally on things about love, life, and growing.


The things that confuse me!


I ask questions to my future soul mate and wonder often who he is and what he'll look like. I add poems, quotes and bible verses here and there for inspiration when I have nothing else to say. It's just a great way for me to feel connected to the one I love, but don't even know.


I write about my hopes and dreams and remind him of my promise to stay pure and let him know that I am praying daily for his purity and commitment to the Lord. I do not want to marry a man who is not lost in the love of the Lord. What kind of man would he be then?


This journal of letters keeps reminding me of my commitment, it helps me to stay on track and keeps me focused on the bigger and better things in life, rather than worrying about the little things. Jesus has all of that covered! The journal is my love story, my fairy tale. Now, I am just waiting to write down the end.


Where will I be? What will I be doing? Only God knows, and I am willing to follow!