A Writer's Life For Me
"A writer's life for me". Those words could not ring truer that they do now. As I sit in my living room, a mood of melancholy disposition has captured my creative mind. The rhythmical pitter-patter of the rain transcends over my imagination, causing my mind to wander, to dream, to become a place of creativity, composition and spirited flurries of feverish splurges of verbs, nouns, and adjectives jotted aimlessly onto paper. I write these words out on paper with a hyper anticipation of being uniquely spontaneous with the composition of my words, as they slowly form into sentences.
Writing a novel isn't instantaneous. In fact, the configuration of words that make up a novel takes time, thought, and years of collecting and processing the facts that make the novel practical and believable. Outlines are needed to keep one's self organized and on track. It's not impossible to go head-first into writing a novel without planning first. Yet, planning the characters and scenes form beginning to end result in a pleasurable, highly productive, and intriguing experience.
Lately I have found myself lacking motivation to continue on with my expansive collection of unfinished novels that I have left to their own devices. In the back of my head the ideas and plans for these novels, that I have left without a purpose and an end, swarm like millions of little fire flies waiting to yet again capture my attention. The wild ideas that come with each unfinished novel only result in empty pages and a meaningless title.
However, there is one novel of mine that has continued to keep my ever wandering attention. This novel-- a novel about specific experience in my life put into a fictional setting-- never ceases to amaze me as it unfolds into a gripping and beautiful concoction of masterful words, characters, and scenes.
Natalie Steel is a former home-schooler who's stuck in a rut. She's a popular cheerleader at White House High school and really doesn't "fit-in". She's got a rather touchy-feely boyfriend who she can't stand and is pressuring her to trade in her purity for a lifetime of pain and guilt. On top of the pressure to become sexual, Natalie has just found out that her best friend Gracie has commuted suicide due to bullying. Natalie blames herself for the terrible tragedy. Had she been a better friend and stood up for Gracie, she would still be alive. Or would she? Could Natalie have actually prevented Gracie's death by sticking up for her? Would that have even made a difference?
The idea for this novel, which is titled The Lost Get Found, is essentially a book about me. Of course this novel is put into a fictional setting, with fictional characters, scenes, and so-forth. I must confess, the story plot to The Lost Get Found is "perhaps" more exaggerated that the reality, because many of the characters, scenes, names, and some instance have been added to make the novel more interesting to readers. Henceforth, a fictional retelling of what I went through a long time ago. It's just put into a different context and an idealistic plot that I believe is original and unique to the world of novels.
Natalie wants to talk to someone about her feelings, but ever since her Grandma Sadie died, Natalie has become distant from her family. For a long time after Gracie's death, she goes into a transit state of depression--that is until her Brother and the grace of God intervene and pull her out of her grieving and melancholy state of mind. Now, once again Natalie has to face the decision to be God's light or to let it burn out. Which will she choose? There's a girl at school who needs her, but will she be willing to leave everything behind to save this poor lost soul?
So, the question now is whether or not I will finish this book before it is succumbed to the "grave yard of dreams". Continuing to write this novel is one thing. Actually finishing it is a whole other story. My dream is to become a published author. I don't particularly want the fame and recognition that comes with the title of author, I just want the satisfaction that all my hard work has finally been revealed to and accepted by the world. Will I have the courage, like Natalie, to follow my heart and allow God to direct my path? Or will I end up one of those people who wish they had done more in their youth? Time will tell what the future holds. As for me, I have to get back to telling Natalie's story of courage, hope and faith.