Re: Teens and Peer Pressure
I agree with almost all of that post, except for the talking to an adult. It does sound like a good idea, I will give you that. But being a teen myself, I, as mentioned, turn to my friends, not my parents. I trust my friends more than I trust my parents and my friends know more about me than my parents do! So many people say, "Go to a trusted adult." but the thing is that no one ever does. We don't like sharing our thoughts with older people, the thought to me is repulsive. Not that I have ANYTHING wrong with older people, my favorite cousins are 25-35. But I just don't like having older people that I don't KNOW know about my "problems" so to speak. I don't like the fact that someone outside of my family would know about my life outside of school or wherever I see them.
That's how I see it at least.
First of all, I would like to let you know that I am so glad you stopped by my blog! I enjoy getting visitors. It makes my day to log into Blogger and see that someone has commented on something that I’ve posted. Thanks.
Second of all, I want to let you know that I admire you for voicing your own opinion. It's usually not an easy thing to do. Anyhow, I think it’s a good thing you are able to speak up about something you believe in and think is right, regardless of what others may think. Kudos to you!
I understand that most teens turn to their friends for support and advice, it’s not like it’s a bad thing. God gave us friends for a reason. In Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, it talks about the importance of having friends you can trust and rely on.
But is that enough? I mean, what's the point in having parents if all we ever do is confide in our friends when we have a problem? Do you really believe that teens the same age as us are going to be able to give us wise counsel on issues they themselves haven't even faced yet?
Don't get me wrong, I am not trying to condemn you for talking to your friends and trusting them more that you would your own parents. Every teen does that, even me! It's a natural part of life to go to your friends rather than your parents. However, there are times when no amount of friendly advice can come close to what a mom or dad can give to us.
Why do you feel this way, Erin? Why are you so opposed to keeping your life from your parents? These are only questions, so please don't feel offended. I only want to know why you feel as if you cannot share your feelings with a "trusted adult".
Don't ever feel that what you have to say is not worthy of your parents time, they want to know what's going on, so that they can help you grow and learn. We may be teens and have friends that we can go to when we need help or advice, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that our friends are wise enough to be giving advice on issues that require the knowledge of someone who’s been-there-and-done-that.
You don't have to tell other adults about your problems. I don't either. No other adult but my parents needs to know my business. It's confidential...a trusting relationship/bond that only parents and their child should share.
Erin, don’t exclude your parents. They were teens once, too. You parents, as well as mine, have made mistakes in their lives that have shaped them into the people they are today. Not only that, but because they made those mistakes and because they care about us, they are willing to share those experiences with us in hopes to save us from making the same mistakes in the future.
In turn, we need to be willing to listen, to understand that our parents, (however annoying and old-fashioned, condemning, untrusting, relentless and controlling they may seem), only want what's best for us - to give us the tools we need to make better, healthier decisions in life.
Just like God is our spiritual guide, our parents are our physical guides. Not our friends. So, don’t take your parents for granted. They give better advice that you think, even if it may be outdated, much of it still applies to you today.
Don’t get me wrong, my parents are there for me, they provide for me with the things I need until I am able to do those things on my own, but what other purposes do parents have besides making sure we’ve got everything we need? You may find this funny, but they are so much more than just our caretakers, they are also our friends.
Call me old-fashioned, but my mom and dad are my best friends. They may be humans and less than perfect, but they have taught me valuable lessons, and most importantly about God. They are there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, a hand to hold. And when I am in a spiritual battle; God, my mom and dad are my wise counsel. They were there for me to learn from.
Forgive me if I am wrong, but it seems to me that you don't seem to have a deep connection or a trusting bond with your parents. How much time do you actually spend with your parents? Anytime you and your parents aren't busy is a good time to talk. It doesn't have to be personal, not unless you want it to be. Track the amount of time you actually spend with your parents.
Is it enough? Maybe you need to take the initiative and spend more time with them, to get to know them and learn to trust them...not only as your parents, but as your trusted friends as well.
If you and your parents don't have a good relationship, then by talking you can slowly build a trusting relationship with them. And once you feel as though you can trust your parents, tell them how you feel, what's on your mind and ask them for advice.
It's what they're there for! They'll help you because they love you deeply. Don't deny them the satisfaction of helping you to grow and mature into a beautiful person. And don't deny yourself of that gratifying family time - that time of development, learning and becoming.
Give it a try. You never know if you never try.
I'll be praying for you, Erin. I may be making this out to be a bigger problem that it really is, but when a teen doesn't want their parents to know what's going on in their lives, it breaks my heart. I just want to give you a big 'ole hug!