I am Alive.... Again

February 21, 2010

Mood: Relaxed
Listening to: Alive Again by Matt Maher
I am listening to Alive Again by Matt Maher {as you already know} and began reflecting on the past two weeks. If you all are wondering...Yes, I am alive again! I cannot tell you how happy I am.  
God, you are a strong, healing and loving father!
For the past few weeks I have had such a hard time. I was having a physical, mental and spiritual battle. The physical and mental battle were nothing compared to the restlessness in my soul. I felt dead, incomplete and utterly hopeless! I was down for the count...like I'd been hit a dozen times.

I know this sounds morbid, dramatic and totally depressing. But, let me explain.

For some of you who might be thinking that this was a cry for help...it was! And for those who think the title implies that I wanted to die...simply not true. I have too much to live for, God, family and people who are in need of God's love.
This cry, was a cry of hopelessness. It was different. I was hopelessly lost; I was so far away from God. I was stressed. When I had reached my breaking point, I thought I was going to go crazy.

One night, while I was getting ready for bed, I broke down and started to cry. These were tears of overwhelming stress being lifted off my shoulders as I prayed to God for strength, faith and hope.

The darkness that had been dragging me down for those two weeks went away as I prayed:
Lord! I am so lost. I can't do this. Life is hard. I am unable to make it through on my own. Help me, Lord. You are my solid rock, and I need a dry, unwavering place to stand on. Be my shield, Lord. Give me the strength to make it though the days to come. Give me peace!
I pray all these things in your name,
Amen.
After praying, let me just tell you, things started to get better. Things started to look brighter. And felt at peace with my soul. I was alive again!
God is an amazing comforter and Father! He was there when I couldn't talk to anyone else. He is truly a loving Father and savior.  
I love you, Lord! I thank you for the healing you have done within me and for the peace you have given me! You are good, Lord. You are good!
He is good, isn't He? And this is why I will always praise Him in the storms. Because He can help us make it through. He's our only steady guide. He's our protector. I trust my life with Him and give Him all the glory and praise! I may have been knocked down...but I was not knocked out! Thanks to my Lord, I am ready for another round.  
One more round, Lord!

3 comments

  1. You've been finding your strength in the right place, it sounds like, in Jesus' arms. Keep it up!
    LocaChica

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is so awesome, Em! I know the feeling... and I'm feeling your excitement right now!:)

    Luv,Emii

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amen! I feel so much better. A great weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Praise Jesus!

    Love you!

    Emily

    ReplyDelete

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