There are a few things I feel that you must know about me in order to understand this blog that I have conjured up. This blog is basically a mixture of random insanity combined with a dash of sweetness, a pinch of lime juice, and a huge helping of Jesus Christ.
First off, I am not your average teenager. In fact, I am unaverage compared to others who live their lives according to what the world says. I choose the path of anti-conformity because I choose to be like Christ, or as close as I can to the perfect and blameless Son of God. Owning up to the fact that I am not average, I must confess that I do not own a cell phone, I spend more time with my family that I do my friends, and I don't own a car, or wear makeup. I shop at Goodwill for most of my clothes because I don't believe that clothes makes the person, although it does help with first impressions.
But, I don't live my life based on what people think about me when they first see me. I don't let my clothes dictate the kind of person I am, either. Obert Skye says: "You can be only what you give yourself the power to be." Therefore, I choose to be different. But not so completely different that it would be almost impossible for me to reach out to others and tell them about Christ. I want to come across as down-to-earth, not crazy.
Another fact that you might find interesting, is the fact that I am home schooled. Just a side note: I am not a home-schooler. Being home schooled and a home-schooler are two completely different terms used to categorize people who school at home. I am home schooled because I am confident, out-going and definitely not one of those who are "anti-social".
I have been home schooled all my life. Since I was 4, I have been doing what comes naturally to me: reading, writing, history, spelling, science. For some strange and peculiar reason, I have always loved school. It was a place of peace, a place where I could indulge the senses with hours of delightful reading and writing. It was my comfort zone. However, math was a whole different subject. (Now you know why I left that out of the list above!). I'd rather not get onto that particular topic because I could go on for hours telling you my horror stories about math. Isn't that the case for most people though? Ha!
So, maybe I'm not that "unaverage" after all! I remember, though, the countless times when my family and I would get uneasy stares from others-- who were probably wondering why we weren't in school like the other children. They'd ask us questions like "...where do you go to school", only to express a monotone "Oh..." after we told them we did school at home. There were a gazillion other questions we were and still are asked.
They aren't as frequent as they used to be, but the questions are the same nonetheless: "don't you wish you went to public school?"; "do you ever get to socialize with other kids your age?"; "how will you ever be able to experience the world locked up inside you home all day long?"; "isn't staying home and doing school boring?"; "do you actually learn anything, or do you just goof off?" Yeah, we heard it all. Thankfully, we aren't those social rejects that can't communicate to the outside world, or those who can't keep their mouths shut. I admit, I used to be insulted by these questions. It was as if I had a sign strapped to my back that said "GO AHEAD, ASK ME A STUPID QUESTION!" Of course they all did--none of them the least bit original, I might add.
For a long time my dad was even embarrassed to admit that we were home schooled. It just wasn't something a lot of people were doing at the time. It was "unusual". Now-a-days, however, the stares we receive from people don't bother us like they used to. Some laugh at us. And like any person who's ignorant about such matters, they mock us for being different. But, it's okay, in fact, we encourage it!
Everything I own I have worked for, including my camera and laptop. I believe that working hard for the things you want produces good work ethic that many people in today's society are lacking. I enjoy working; I've been working a steady job since I was 14.
But ever since I was wee little, I've always managed to make a buck-or-two doing odd jobs here-and-there. It's what I was made to do; it's in my DNA. Not to get into a long, boring story about my family history, but where my family comes from, work was always a constant companion. Scotch-Irish, German, Native American and Appalachian blood run through my veins.
Some say I am wired for work, like a mule, or a pack horse. I guess you could say that. For me, thought, it's more along the lines of a sense of duty and the desire to experience the satisfaction of accomplishing something, and then being able to spend the money earned on nice things. My parents have payed my way through this world long enough; and now it's time I take over. Besides, the little stuff my parents shouldn't have to bother with anyway. It's my joy now.
I detest dark fantasy such as Twilight and those other blood-sucking, haunting novels that are imitators of originals. I prefer good, clean and classic reads that are filled with the sense of adventure, realistic romance, and the triumph of good over evil. Classic reads are written with such care, in excruciating detail and with such a vibrant ray of vocabulary usage, that it makes my heart flutter with momentary excitement.
The books that I read become my dearest friends. If it weren't strange, I'd marry a library filled with an expansive collection of old literature from around the globe! I find it hard and very distracting to read horror novels, fantasy novels and science-fiction novels, because they present the reader with a little bit of reality, and a whole lot of hog-wash. I like to indulge myself in a fictional book here-and-there, but I prefer Christian fiction, especially if it has a historical twist to it. I do delight in an thrilling read now-and-then, too, I admit.
But, I find myself reading Christian Apocalyptic novels, rather than those creepy ghost stories and mass murder novels. And when I finish a book, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with a sense of sorrow. As Paul Sweeney puts it, "You know you've read a good book when you turn the last page and feel a little as if you have lost a friend."
I don't live in the city. Where I'm from, there are lush green fields, rolling acres of golden wheat, hay, tall stocks of corn ripe for the taking, and the sweet smell of tobacco smoking in barns all across the country side. Cows graze in their pastures, and horses gallop gallantly across the green ocean, as if in a field of dreams. Cats scamper about catching mice to their hearts content. Dogs chase cars alongside the road, and often become a stranger's best friend when they least expect it. Along the miles of farm road, there are picturesque scenes of years-gone-bye. Elderly people wave to you as you drive past their modest little homes, and farmers, on their combines and small John Deers, tip their hats to you and then continue to tend to their dainty gardens, pastures, and fields. I wouldn't live anywhere else. I reckon, I take pride and pleasure in being able to experience life at its slowest--admiring the beautiful creation that I've been so blessed to experience. And in the words of Audrey Hepburn, who is like me in more ways that one, says this: "I'm an introvert...I love being by myself, love being outdoors, love taking a long walk with my dogs and looking at the trees, flowers, the sky."
I am a born again believer in the Almighty, and have been saved by grace through faith. I consider myself to be the scent of Christ (2 Corinthians 2:14-15). I pray that my love for life and desire to spread the love and Word of God will somehow-- in some small way--effect the lives of those around me, whether they are people in need, people who are hungry for truth, the weak and the weary, or the desperate and the lost. I am always willing to do whatever God will have me to do. I am His vessel, His arrow, His clay. And He is the Potter; the oil that fills my soul, and the target that is always my guide. He's my comfort and the very reason I wake up every morning and exist yet another day.
I look at the beauty in every situation. Every trial and tribulation is a blessing and a gift from God that is to be cherished and not taken lightly. I look to these times of struggle, as times that I not only grow closer to the Lord, but I can grow in my faith, as well. In a quote by Helen Keller, she states that: "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved." Instead of getting angry at God for making my struggle, I look at it this way...if God can bring me to it, He can also bring me through it. He can do whatever He wants to, whenever He wants to because He is God. And as Coach Taylor says in Facing the Giants:
"... if we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes."
I write first and foremost for God, so that I may glorify Him through everything that I do. I want to honor Him through my writings, so that others may be inspired and grow closer to the Lord. I believe James A. Michener captured my zest for writing when he states: "I love writing. I love the swirl and swing of words as they tangle with human emotions." I write novels, posts, journal entries and notes because I have an overwhelming urge to put my pen to work on those familiar white sheets of smooth and unblemished paper. On those sheets: I create. I imagine. I dream. I am allowed to be originally and uniquely me!
"A great photograph is one that fully expresses what one feels, in the deepest sense, about what is being photographed." (Ansel Adams). I capture the beauty of God's majestic and awe-inspiring creation through photography. What I see as beauty may not be beautiful to someone else. Yet everything God has done has a purpose and a meaning, and it is all beautiful to me! There is nothing about God's creation that doesn't make me smile, think and stop to marvel at His craftsmanship and undying love for us!
I love my life. This is where I am meant to be, how I am meant to live, and what I am meant to do. Every so often I do dream, wish and wonder what life would be like had I been born in another era besides the one I currently reside in. What would be different about me? Would I be any bit the same as I am now, or would I be completely different? However, I always come back thinking "I wouldn’t have life any other way, but the way it is now!" Memories of days gone by are my constant companions. And my family is my God-given place of refuge, support and strength. If it wasn’t for them, I’d be lost. A girl with no direct course. I am, however, a girl on a path less traveled. A girl with a future waiting for her to make it happen.
As you could tell, I am all about anti-conformity and expressing myself through a variety of things: dancing, singing and going against the flow. Why be of the world, when you can be different and let your light shine?! Says the girl who you would typically see sitting on a couch with a hot cup of tea and a good book, dancing erratically to music, breaking out in a random song, or typing blissfully to the sound of classical music, while freely releasing all inner thoughts, emotions, dreams, and ideas onto paper.
I may be known now and forever more as yours truly: Emily Shae. A small town girl living in a world that wasn't meant for her. A girl who's dreams and ideas are too big for this little world that follows the heavy laden roads. I travel the roads less traveled in order to see the true beauty of life, and the abundance of blessings Christ has bestowed upon me. Why hide your dreams from the light? Why become less active in a world that needs someone to look up to? Why do we stop expressing our beliefs just because others may not want to hear? Subconsciously, they hear all we have to say...it's just that some choose to ignore it, while others let it simmer in their hearts. I am a Christian that doesn't want to sit on the sidelines and let the world slip through her fingers. I am unaverage, beautiful, and unique. I think I'm gonna go and take a hold of the reigns and be who I am, not what others want me to be!